2018 Update 3 Kerri in 1st

So, on to most recent “friends”. Rocky has remained friends with this guy for some time now. They have little contact from what I can tell as far as day to day stuff goes. He worked with him at WalMart in Shelbyville and now he stops in at the gas station Rocky works sometimes. Joseph and Rocky have very similar personality traits and mannerisms and I think it only natural that after a few visits with Joseph here at the house I would want to meet his female counterpart. How much are we alike? being the main pull on that curiosity.

Joseph started coming over every Wednesday and even though he was able to bring his girlfriend she always had a reason not to come. Honestly that was okay with me. I have some social anxiety and have to work myself up to want to spend time with people. It is the hardest when I don’t know someone. Like there is no reason for me to get to know them or them to know me we do not need to have interactions. I don’t need to be judged or to attempt to judge someone. This is a hard situation for me because I honestly love to tell my life stories. It’s just that many people come with so much baggage and it’s soooo heavy. I have my own as we all do and I feel I’m decent at listening and holding the baggage for a moment but.... I can’t keep it nor would I want to try.

Anyway, I digress.
Rocky had told me Joseph’s girlfriend was in the hospital. Then a few days later that he was bringing his girlfriend on Wednesday. After a ton of confusion I find out that the girl he brought to my house is their girlfriend. His and his girlfriend’s girlfriend and that his girlfriend Kerri is still in the hospital, expected to be released in the morning. They stayed the night after a few too many drinks and the next day after a call from Kerri to come to the hospital to get her started talking about not having gas money. They kinda grumbled and you could watch them both tense up as they discussed who they would have to ask to borrow gas money from. It was a good week so I volunteered to put gas in his tank.... unexpectedly I ended up filling it up. Kerri wasn’t it a regular hospital.... or rather a regular one but in the mental ward and had been there for a week. I suddenly didn’t want her having to worry about gas money to get home on as soon as she got out. I told him I did not want the money back but instead to tell Kerri she owes me a visit.

Little did I know that visit would come as soon as she got out. They came directly back here and there was a crap ton of drama as soon as they came back. Apparently, while Kerri was away things happened with the girlfriend that had not been approved. Kerri was very angry and blamed the meds they had her on in the hospital but honestly since then whenever they come over she treats him mostly the same.

They have since gotten rid of other girlfriend and it’s almost forbidden to bring up her name.

Joseph had taken Kerri to the hospital because he found her passed out on the bathroom floor. She is a terrible cutter and has deep scares on every limb. I have heard her story of sexual abuse and I have felt her longing to love and be loved. I feel so sad for her. When she is here I only want her to be happy. She has been over on Wednesdays with Joseph. It has gotten easier to have them over. I make them food.... we eat… talk, play Magic, get drunk .... she asked me why I’m always drinking when they are over.... and I was dishonest with her.

I drink when they are over because she makes me uncomfortable. She is as I see it far too over dramatic. I can’t deal if I haven’t been drinking. OF course you can’t see the over drama from this point but let me explain further.

The first night she came over: Rocky was at work and her and Joseph were having a fight on the back porch.... a fight… at someone else’s house just after getting out of the mental ward at a hospital because you HAD to make good right them.... She stormed off for a walk and disappeared. Me being who I am thought the worst. I live like 5-6 houses from a railroad track, she just got released from a mental ward for attempted suicide. We did find her and we did talk it out. One night she was here and her and Joseph had fought about something..... something stupid like he didn’t bring HER magic cards and she won’t play with his. She ended up locking herself in their truck in below 30 degrees for like 6 hours and took a nap because she suddenly didn’t want to be near him. She actually did the same thing last week because I wanted to play games with her and she did not want to play.

I always try to start off visits with “Anything new and interesting?” They had both said no and she locked herself away after only like an hour and a half. I learned from Rocky (who was the only one she allowed to talk to her as per usual) that she had started a new job and would no longer be able to come over.... and that she was very upset over that and a change in her sleep schedule?..... I don’t get it, that’s far too much drama for such a little thing. Why cut this visit short if it could be the last one for awhile?.... I went bed… I was not having part in it. I don’t get that kind of behavior.