it's. been a day. and music sounds different. *Con.* in 2017. got it.

it’s. been a day it really has. it’s. been a hell of a day.

So earlier. I listened to music cause i read something about music helping w/ um. ‘accidents’ like the one I had. So I listened to............eva cassidy’s cover of ‘imagine’. [for those who don’t know. apparently. and i’ve not seen this scene. but there was a very moving scene in the movie ‘love actually’ w/ her cover of ‘songbird’, by fleetwood mac. that’s all i know about that scene.]. um.........and it sounded. different off somehow. I’ve heard that song before. i’m not really sure how to describe .........what i mean. i cried.

oh I listened to ‘hallelujah’ the original by leonard cohen. and that song really. um........ it was more um..........i felt......... like fish ariel. oh i know! i felt deeper er. i mean........sorry. the my emotions were deeper when I listened to that. like more i don’t know vivid. [fish and ariel are both in water/the ocean. which is deep.].

then janis ian ‘bright lights & promises’. blues.

oh so while I was out I was singing. I sing actually when i’m out. sometimes. a few of my faves [leonard cohen, ‘georgia on my mind’, ‘creep’] and then just. um..........roy orbison, bonnie........tyler. oh ‘the circle game’ another fave. unlike w/ verbalising/blogging i remembered the lyrics better then i do..........words. words are hard. i thought maybe singing bits of my faves would do something. something different. mmm................. and it helped w/ the pain. yeah my spine.......... it helped a lot w/ the pain actually. the physical pain.

i sing how i feel.

.......... i was most worried about. not knowing my way from the...........house to.........walgreen’s. So last night I typed up directions w/ pictures and descriptions of each area. i didn’t have a whole lot of trouble. oh i brought the directions w/ me to refer back to.

so when i was by walgreen’s I fell. [i was off to the side not like in the middle of somewhere.]. i did not. hit my head. I had my hands out in front of me yes for that reason. so I would fall onto them. i got to a sitting position and waited for a minute. i went into walgreen’s cause i was cold made my way to..........um..........the mermaid place. [starbucks.].

i took my time getting places today and was a lot more..........careful.

oh. right. well whenever the lady’s husband takes me back to the house i thank him. and for a minute there i couldn’t think of ‘thank you’. so in my head i’m ‘it’s ‘danke’.........’thank you.’. [yes. i know a word of german.]. got that worked out.

A friend of mine the one I mentioned Pat’s brother. sounds like he’s having a bit of a hard time as well. and so on fb i’m ‘if you want to talk about it or. i don’t know. that’s all i got’. my brain literally couldn’t think beyond those words. whereas, before, ‘the accident’ i’d have been able to.

so. the symptoms the physical symptoms are worse. [today.].