Love is shit. in Ramblings of a stranger..

Drill Sargent makes me crazy…

I hate it..

I’m a mess. I’m terrible at communicating. I indirectly bring a lot of crap around…

I may have messed things up… Again. When I found the stupid note last month, I should have just asked about it. When the stupid picture got found, I could have just asked about it.. I didn’t.

He sucks at communicating, too though. When I broke things off with him and told him I found things at his apartment, he could have helped me and started the conversation. When he came home and saw the picture hanging on his fridge, he could have addressed it..

The fact that neither of us are willing to talk about things make the other one just come up with their own conclusions.

We had a good night and a good day filled with some tender moments before we messed it up. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve messed it up for good.. At least I hope not anyways. We’ve said before that we need to work on our communication..

I would sit here and say things like oh, I’ll work on it.. When I’m upset about something, I won’t worry about what he’ll think.. I’ll just share with him.. But I won’t. Who knows.. Maybe it will get easier with him… If there is a him anymore.

I worry that I need him. Right now anyways. Like I’m making him answers to questions I don’t even know. All I know is if somewhere in me I think I need him I’m gonna end up extremely hurt.. Or he will.

Love is shit. Just saying. I sincerely wish I had a grapple on how it is suppose to work… Ugh