Welcome Back Anxiety! in The Daily (2014)

I've already posted once today. But I am anxious. So I am posting again.

This is very frustrating because my anxiety has really been under control for quite a while. I was feeling moderately in control of it. And now, I feel like my stomach is churning and I sort of want to run away.

This next week feels impossible. I have decided to break my promise to myself and skip class tomorrow. For a few reasons.

One, I feel like that time would be better trying to catch up. I fell way behind this weekend because I just was a little bit too sick to focus. I was significantly better today, but I made the mistake of thinking I could study at home. Well, it wasn't really a mistake. A mistake implies a lack of foresight. I knew I wouldn't be able to study at home, but I chose to try anyways because Liz didn't want to go out because of her face, and she was sad, and I knew that if I left her alone sad that she wouldn't get anything done other than getting more sad. So I stayed. And failed to get anything done. Either way, those 4 hours I would spend in class could be well-spent working my butt off cramming for math and getting my reading done for my Oral History Practicum.

Two, I didn't do the readings for the class anyways and I hate going to that class unprepared because it is very discussion based and okay I have a bit of a crush on my prof. She's cute. And smart. Whatever. This happens a lot.

Three, I have to finish my GIS Lab before Tuesday morning and I have no idea how long it will take. I've been doing fairly well in that class so far- 95% on each of the first two labs- but this lab is doing a pretty solid job of kicking my ass. Hence why it wasn't done in lab time.

Four, It's my anniversary. I don't want to have to get up early, do my lab, go to class, and stay for another hour or two after that cramming math into my brain. I want to leave campus around 4, pick up some flowers for my girl on the way, and get home by 5ish to her pretty smiling face. Honestly, that is all that I want ever.

So, that's what I am doing.

I think that meeting with the guy from the Pride Society about the Oral History project is part of this. I am so so anxious.

Ahhhh. I should just drink some lavender tea and calm down.