Another Slice in Chapter 2 : The Elle Era

I am disappointed in me, not because I cut though but because I wish I could have done more or have gone deeper, maybe one day I’ll get so deep that I’ll cut the feeling right out of me, maybe one day I’ll be able to move on. Why can’t I move forward? Why am I stuck in this ditch? Why won’t my brain let me go forward?
I DON’T WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS ANYMORE.
I just want to be normal, to be fixed, to be better. Why do I continuously have to be the fucked up fat fuck? Can I tell you all a secret? At night when I wake up at stupid o cloc, just to make sure Elle’s still breathing and all that jazz (huh, whaddya know Joe, I gots me a maternal instinct towards my girl….), I wonder why I’m like this. Maybe I was the part of the faulty batch that got through Quality Control that day. I’m the deviant devil bastard child (their word’s exactly) in my family so no doubt that’s how everyone else sees me?

Maybe it’s just my punishment for being born?

Last updated January 11, 2018