Keep The Sultan Amused in Chapter 1 : The Kel Year

Sometimes I sit and wonder about life and if it’s really worth living. Life itself is the hardest thing that we humans will ever experience and we don’t ever really stop to experience it do we? I think that’s quite a sad fact of life, that we never stop completely, we never notice everything. We always miss something no matter how inferior it may seem or important it could be there’s always something that we miss and I’m not talking about miss as an emotion I’m using it as an active word.

The other night I was sat in Kel’s bedroom. It was about 8ish, I’d just gotten out the shower and was drying my hair and all of a sudden I had this huge downer. I felt so dead and empty inside and I haven’t felt like that in a LONG time. After about 90 minutes of it I had this massive urge to take an overdose, just to escape the emptiness. I felt so worthless. In the end I had to sit on my hands whilst watching TV just to stop myself from doing something stupid. I just feel so, I don’t know.

I wish my girlfriend would stop and think before she does the stupid things that piss me off. I wish I knew she’s faithful, that it was all about me. I kind of wish D.K would just drop dead and get out of our lives because then I’ll have that security. I hate D.K with every piece of me. I hate her. Kel reckons D.K would never do anything to come between us, I beg to differ as she already does. D.K has everyone under her thumb, but I see her for what she really is. When Kel told her that we’re moving in together she was all oh I’ll have no-one to party with now, but, she’s got loads of other mates that she’s usually partying with. Why does she want my girlfriend? I hate her, I want her out of Kel’s life, get out of my life, please just leave us be. Let us be happy.

I just had to get that off my chest

Last updated January 11, 2018