from twitter. in 2017. got it.

‘i have never seen a gingerbread lady. like the cookie kind.

‘if people didn’t plant seeds. [i mean actual seeds. from plants. not, you know, seeds.]. then. the bees wouldn’t pollinate the flowers. like cherry flowers for instance. [actually cherries grow on trees but the point being.]. and so. people plant cherry trees. the bees come and

pollinate the um cherry flowers. and then the people get the cherries. and sell them. nummy thingies. so the people help the bees who.in turn help the.people.

‘

i might’ve mentioned this. but on thanksgiving we watched the nat’l dog show.

‘it’s weird that dogs and cats have ‘batches’ of offspring but usually humans don’t do that. it’s not like ok so a woman has 5 kids and then 10 yrs. later or w/e she births another 5 kids. i don’t think a woman’s reproductive system is designed for such a thing.

‘don’t ask me to set the table. cause i never set it the “correct” way. i put the flatware on the right cause i’m right handed.

‘so apparently my name is now ‘Pat’ according to the Wendy’s guy. 1. ‘Pat’ is an old lady’s name [nothing against anyone w/ that name. also gender-neutral] and 2. I don’t even look like a ‘Pat’.

[my great-aunt’s name is ‘Pat’ but that’s off her maiden name. her actual name is Hilda but she’s never been ‘Aunt Hilda’. yes ‘Aunt Hilda’ just like in ‘sabrina’. ok.].

‘so a woman in my mom’s choir. her name is Jude. in school she went by ‘Judy’. so this guy she knew John Garland....well if they’d gotten married she would’ve been. yes that’s right. Judy Garland. [btw they never married.].

‘when my mom was telling me she’d ‘taped’, the Christmas story.....and that maya rudolph was in it. I thought she meant, you know. the orig. Christmas story. w/ Mary and Joseph and all them. but no. she meant the other one.

‘ya know how most people are nicer around the holidays? well i’m the opposite. i just don’t like happy loud people. i’m more irritable bc of the happy loud people. we should all be londoners.

‘so my mom. earlier we’re sittin watch tv. and she goes ‘did you drink all of the eggnog?’ me ‘no’. huh. well that’s weird. ‘it’s in the door’ ‘oh’. oh Mom.

‘so our microwave. decided to take a vacation a long, vacation. it’s no longer w/ us. new one on tues.

^ oh yeah that was from xmas eve.

‘so. the day before xmas eve I literally walked into a wall at my parents’. like the side of it. er I mean I wasn’t walking towards, the wall just alongside it. and got a little too close. I fell down some stairs once. yeah that, wasn’t fun. and that’s why i’m now afraid of stairs

‘so my mom. she wrapped some of our gifts in this really nice shiny purple-blue paper. only. it’s hannakuh [sp?] paper and we’re not jewish. [though, interestingly enough we have a slight bit of jewish ancestry.].

‘so apparently. metal isn’t supposed to go in the microwave. yeah growing up my mom had never put metal in the microwave but i never understood why i just thought. that’s how she was. yeah so one day in college i put metal in the microwave. it sparked and so i stopped it and told

someone. well turns out. people aren’t supposed to put metal in there. well i did experiment in college.......and college is a time for that. just, not the way most people do.

‘so my mom & i watched the carol burnett 50th ann. thingy. the dentist one was the funniest one. looks like someone followed directions a little too carefully. omygod.

‘st. james pudding is really weird. it’s more cake then pudding actually. yeah we um. [well ok my mom since i don’t cook.]. well it went into foil and then into this pan.thing on the stove so that was also weird. and it doesn’t taste v. good either. [the cake thingy i mean.].

‘So today. I learned about the animal guy. st. francis who for some reason I thought he was from Spain. but no. maybe it’s cause ‘San Francisco’ is Spanish which means. ‘saint francis’. [obviously.]. [oh he was from Italy.]. [well but Italian and Spanish are similar....]. on PBS.

but on PBS it didn’t talk about him and the animals. just that he was the http://like.pioneer of peaceful leaders. it talked about the Muslims and their names for God and um. the different names they have are the different aspects. so now i’m wondering. bc San Francisco was

named for him. are there Muslims in San Francisco?’ ^that was from dec. 26th

‘Toblerone bars look like little mountains. oh I get it cause there are mountains in, Switzerland. [nuh uh.]. [no really? yes there really are.]. um wow. oh and then the little mountains form a big, mountain. little mountains. huh. what do ya know.

‘so my parents. 1. they own a small apt. building. and 2. so we have 2 purple bowls. plastic. and for almost 2 days i’d been wondering where one of the 2 purple bowls was. well turns out. my dad had it next door. [in an apt. next to their house. like it’s a house w/ 3 apts.

attached. to it.]. [he’s the maintenance person for them. the apts. not the bowls.].’ ^from dec. 29th

‘everyone at the mall is in like 1 - 2 layers and i’m over here in my 5 coats. cause I don’t drive.

^from NYE

‘9News digital art people: yall don’t know how to draw a cloud. it looks like a backwards whale w/ the eyes and such missing. and now on the weather there’s been a whale in front of the sun. so we should all expect. whales apparently. oh whales.

‘so I didn’t understand how solar panels worked until today. yeah um 10 yrs. ago we were talking about having them at my mom’s. but I was thinking about it today. and above my rm. there’s an apt. so I thought the solar panels were um. skylights. but then that wouldn’t work if

something’s in the way. just that they were more unique and different then ‘normal’ skylights. but no. the energy from the panel goes into a wire. like a lightbulb.’

‘so. the Spanish [as in from Spain] were the first to arrive in the states. in 1519 or something. in florida. [well it wasn’t florida then.].

‘for the longest time I thought hayley mills was 2 people. cause she was in that movie.

‘I can’t stand people who think they’re better then everyone. Like I was at Starbucks the other day. And this older woman maybe like. 40 - 60 it’s hard to tell 60 at most. well when she was done at the napkin station she.didn’t throw her trash away. And I was sitting there waiting

for her to do it. like you gonna throw your trash away? or expect others to do it? [ok i know that’s what they have people for. but i don’t believe in treating those people http://like.like nothing and er.which i don’t.]. it’s like you conceited bitch. [also i don’t like

litter.].’

‘So apparently. when people are done checking out at the store. and there’s not a um bagger there only a cashier. i guess they expect that person to do both jobs. I didn’t see this happening but my mom & i were done checking out and i bagged the groceries cause the person wasn’t

there and the lady the cashier lady’s like ‘thanks’. um. do most people not do that? like where are these people living? cause i have never seen that nor did it occur to me untill now. and they say the younger generation doesn’t have class. it’s like not being quiet and polite on

a plane er a flight i mean. like where are yall gonna go if there’s a big problem other then the bathroom? at least in the store or a park or wherever the person can leave. but that doesn’t work on a plane. er flight. w/e. i’m entitled but just.not in that way.’