Sht in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

Just got email confirmation that I did not get the Cedar Rapids job. I feel heartbroken. I feel like once again I was shown that things could be better… that Wife and I might finally get a break… only to be told NOPE, NOT FOR YOU! STRUGGLE, BITCHES!

I am just… crippled over it emotionally. I have a lot that I still need to do, so I’m trying to swallow the lump in my throat but damn is that sucker ever huge.

I was QUALIFIED! Dammit. I was a perfect candidate for that goddamned position. Davenport? Fine, I understand. They were looking for someone with more felony experience. Fine. But this one? This one? I was the perfect candidate! It isn’t fair.

So… now I have to drive to Iowa City. Be the Chinese Bitch Boy. Look forward to many more months of slaving away for shit pay and no benefits and shitty people. Fucking hell. There are ten counties that would be lovely to work for. Of those ten? They are
Polk
Linn
Scott
Johnson
Black Hawk
Woodbury
Story
Dubuque
Pottawattamie
Dallas.

I interviewed at Polk in 2016. I interviewed in Linn in 2017. I interviewed in Scott in 2017. I interviewed at Black Hawk in 2014 and 2015. I interviewed at Dallas in 2014. I applied to Pottawattamie and was never called back. I applied to Story and was never called back. Out of ten counties, I’ve interviewed or applied every year since Law School… and even been interviewed on several occasions. It is bullshit. It is the “What life do you want? That’s nice. Here’s what it looks like. Why don’t you come visit. BUT YOU CAN’T STAY, GET OUT!”

I’m trying to end this with a hopeful or happy… “Well, I guess I’ll just keep applying whenever they come up!” But… working for a private firm? I’m not becoming MORE hireable, I’m becoming LESS hireable.