Stole one in Stolen surveys.

Have you ever flown first class?

Yes I have. Many many years ago, was going to Europe with my mother, and somehow she knew the head flight attendant who put us in first class. It was in front of the plane, seats leaned back farther and there was a bit of a foot rest. Didn’t eat the food, cause I don’t eat when I fly to avoid farting, or worse yet, having to shit.

Would you rather read books or magazines?
Used to read magazines often before the internet, now if I read it’s going to be a book (kindle) or internet crap.

Have you ever seen a shooting star?
Yes, and it’s actually a Meteorite entering the atmosphere and huge speeds. Sometimes it’s no larger then a pebble but looks a lot bigger. Wake up the kids and teach them something now!

Have you ever had your cheek pinched by a relative?
Oh yeah, when I was like three had an uncle who was a notorious cheek pincher and it hurt like fuck. Supposedly he was a great guy.

How many times a week do you wash your hair?
Shave my head twice usually

Do you own any plaid pants?
Nooooo

Have you ever had food SO bad in a restaurant that you sent it back?
Not because it was so bad. Rich friend of ours took us to a “great place” in New York City. I ordered some kind of fish, and when I started eating it, I found scales in my mouth. I tried other parts of the fish and realized they forgot to descale it. At first our friend was like, “Just eat around it,” cause he didn’t want to be a pain in the ass, even though he was some big time film producer who usually got his ass kissed everywhere. Then he finally sent it back, and I got a larger piece eventually, then free desert and cigars for the table.

Can you touch your toes without bending your knees?
Can’t even suck on my toes or bite my toenails anymore. Need to lose weight.

Do you talk in your sleep?
I’ve been told that I have.

Have you ever fallen off a horse?
No but I have an irrational fear of them so maybe in a past life? LOL (going to leave the answer from the person I stole the survey from, cause #Metoo, when it comes to this)

Can you pick things up with your toes?
Easier then bending down to pick up underwear.

Have you ever locked yourself out of your house?
I think so

Have you ever worn bell bottoms?
Wanted to in my teens, being an Elvis fan, but by that time they were WAY out of style and couldn’t find any.

If you are a girl, do you get bad PMS, or is it not so bad?
I’m not a girl. But I’m a bitch.

Would you rather have your shirt be too long or too short? What about your pants?
Too long is always better. Except when it comes to dicks. 3.5 inches is just fine. Right?
Riiiiight??? DAMN IT.

Are you the type of person who can shake insults off easily, or do they tend to stick around in your brain and bother you?
Depends on who says it. Usually I take it as a joke, cause I’m great you know. But when it’s someone in authority who lies or doesn’t know what they are talking about....well just wait until we are star dust again, I’m colliding with those fuckers and causing them to melt. I have a looong ass memory mother fucker.

Do you like clothes with ruffles on them?
Sure do, on women.

Do you think you’ve gotten better looking or uglier with age?
I peaked at age around 25. Down hill ever since, with a few good runs in between. Now, holy fuck, yuck.

Have you ever seen a bracelet made of soda can pop tops? Have you ever made or worn one?
No.

Have you ever done cocaine?
Once in my early twenties. Wasn’t impressed, but would try it again if I could do some Estacy first, which I never tried, then do a couple of lines from the ass crack of a hot Asian hooker.
Hey, we are allowed to have hopes and dreams.

What are you going to do after this?
Eat some of those cheese stick things, and Jalepno poppers that I’m testing out in my brand new NeWave air frier.

Are you wearing jeans?
Sweat pants, aka, winter pajamas.

Where did you buy the shirt you’re wearing now?
Salvation army store. (sometimes you get cool stuff there)

Has anyone ever called you a whore?
Yes, and I like it.

Who were you last in a car with?
Just me, driving home from work.

Has anyone told you that you have pretty eyes?
Complemented them all the time back in the day. Didn’t say pretty though.

Are you in a good mood right now?
I tend to be, although it doesn’t come through on my entries usually.

Is there anyone who you think you deserve an apology from?
Nope. Just their soul and eyes in a glass jar.

Have you ever played the guitar?
No

Could you handle living together with the last person who you talked to on the phone?
NO!!!! It was my mother, and that’s exactly what her idea was if my step father should die. I will donate a kidney and part of a heart to keep that fucker alive now!!

Do you ever take your anger out on others?
No, I don’t.

Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?
Not yet. Even though I’ve been a legal adult for over 40 years.

Where’s your phone right now?
Fuck if I know. Around here somewhere I think.

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
Oh yeah.

Are you the oldest child?
Only one. Lucky fucking me.

Would you rather be called honey or baby?
It’s all good as long as we’re naked and there’s whipped cream, and a Roofied midget tied up near by.

Was the first person to text you today a boy or a girl?
I texted a coworker.

Is there anyone who doesn’t like you because of something you did?
Usually it’s for things that I didn’t do. People need to have lower expectations.

Do you have any bruises?
Not at the moment that I can feel.

Did you mean ‘I love you’ when you said it last?
Probably not. (leaving original answer cause you know #Metoo)

I bet you’re talking to someone right now aren’t you?
Not that I’m aware of.

Who was the last person you cut out of your life intentionally?
My cousin who posted some fucked up shit to my Facebook. Luckily due to the time difference between us, I’m pretty sure that I was the only one to see it before I deleted the message and him as well. He’s dead to me, and he’s the only person who might still be alive that I can say that about.

If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
Is there anyway I can make money off of being the first pregnant guy dock?.

Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
Yes, the little girl I fell in love with when I was just as little, and seen a few times though out the years for brief periods of time (just as a visiting friend). I still think about her, and sometimes dream about her, and I wake up feeling depressed as shit.

Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
Lost love that never was. Thanks fucker.

When was the last time you went in the opposite sex’s public bathroom?
Only did it twice, and both times were within the same two weeks. Lesson learned: If there is no urinal, but several shitters around.....and the place looks pretty and actually smells like flowers........you are not in the mens room.

What are you wearing right now?
You keep asking so I will tell you what you want to hear. I am naked, lubed from head to toe in virgin olive oil, which is also dripping off of my 8.5 inch uncut boner.

Have you had the chicken pox?
Sure did, and as of 18 months ago I still have immunity.

Did you buy something today?
No, but just tried out a brand new NuWave air fryer that my coworkers were raving about so I got one.....and also threw out my perfectly good oven toaster that was taking up too much counter place so I could put the air fryer in it’s place. FUCKING “MERICA!!
I mean I guess I could have cleaned it out and donated it, but didn’t feel like it.

Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other?
Nah, I’d want to fuck her. I might not tell her, or even act like I do....but yeah, I’d want to fuck her…or at least see her naked, in different poses. Yes, even if I didn’t find her physically attractive. Read into that as you wish.

What’s your favorite color?
Right now it’s flaming orange. Never thought I’d like it.

What are you doing for your next birthday?
Too early to tell, but I”m guessing, getting a bit older?

Were you happy when you woke up today?
Well I wasn’t fucking ecstatic, but I guess it just might be better then the alternative. Though sometimes I wonder.

Is there a person in your life that can always make you smile?
Usually me; and usually at the most inappropriate times.

Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, who isn’t around now?
I guess my father? But it was his time when he died, so I’m OK with it. So maybe the answer is no? Fuck, I’m a cold hearted fucker.

Are you a jealous person?
Used to be up to my late twenties I think. Since then, I just can’t be bothered with that emotion.

Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
I’d be pissed that I didn’t remember the sex that led up to it.

When is the next time you’re traveling out of state?
Hoefully not for awhile, but I will be having to select vacation days soon after January, so yay, get to visit my parents. Although I’d rather go to Vegas.

Can you write your name in a foreign language?
Sure. It’s an easy name.

When you’re getting ready for something, do you listen to music?
Sometimes.

Do you leave the curtains/blinds closed or open while you sleep?
Closed.

What is your favorite day of the week?
Thursday night because it’s my Saturday night. Although I usually don’t do anything, if I was to do something, that would be the night to do it. Right now, this is what I’m doing.

Do you generally do the same thing every day of the week?
I try to. I found that I do like monotony and routine.

What is something you did yesterday and wish you could’ve done today?
Nothing, cause I’m probably leaving it til tomorrow anyway.

What did you last order online?
You’ll never guess so I will tell you. A Nu wave hot air fryer.

Do you have any specific hobbies?
Nope, I’m boring as fuck

Favorite fall or winter accessory?
heat.

Do you like to swim?
In pools when there’s no one around, maybe clean lakes up north where there are no alligators or black people.

How many books are in your room?
Maybe a dozen. I’ve purged most of my printed books. (yep another #Metoo) They tend to be on my Kindle now.

What did you last eat?
Cheese sticks and Jalepeno poppers.

Name one of your goals for this year?
Lose weight, clean my apartment. Same goal I had the last five years or so.

What does your 9th message on your phone say?
178 dollars eCheck pmt has been authorized 12/13 to your account and will debit from bank account blah blah blah. I think that’s my cell phone payment.

Look to your left. What’s there?
My black kitty sitting there looking around all confused. Not sure why, everything is the same.
Everything is always the same here. Which I think we both appreciate.

How long does it take you to fall asleep?
Depends how tired I am, but usually not long at all cause I stay up super late.

Are you scared about the end of the world?
Looking forward to it, just hope that I don’t have anyone left living to worry about. Then I can enjoy all the mayhem and shananigans.

Is there a TV in the room you are in?
Yup.

What are you looking forward to?
Nothing. I’m doing what I’ve been looking forward through out my work week, and I’m sucking it all up.

hahaha, did that thing I said about black people piss you off? That’s why I did it :)