within each song in addressing the public

when i was young i was so lonely
and always felt like i was wrong
i wrapped my wounds in simple verses
stitched my skin within each song

and every night i’d play them back
chant a tune under my breath
taking comfort from the sound
of my own voice within my head

and i don’t know if we have free will
or if we are the way we are
maybe i could’ve been just like them
those i’ve admired from afar

i’ve always felt outside myself
always three levels too aware
and no i don’t think it made me smart
it made me tired, sad and scared

and i don’t know if we have choices
or if there’s someone who knows best
or if attempts at self improvement
are just a way to get depressed

but any time i’ve tried to change
i liked the new me even less