Waiting for the Shoe to Drop in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

Maybe this is me reading too deeply into things.
Maybe this is me knowing my bosses too well.
Maybe I’m just expecting the absolute worst.

I sent my bosses a message that read
(1) Case Requires Presence. Please inform Chinese Speaking Client.
(2) Case not reviewed by Magistrate. Magistrate’s assistant promised me movement. Please tell Chine Speaking Client.
(3) Personal Matter: I have a highly sensitive personal matter I need to deal with; therefore, I will need next Thursday morning off. We’ll call it personal time and I will be back by 1:00 that afternoon. I apologize for the inconvenience and suddenness of this situation.
(4) Personal Matter: My glaucoma still exists so I need to see my Eye Dr. He gave me his latest appointment to help but I will need to leave at 3 on Tuesday the 12th.

Ever since I sent that… the bosses have been… cagey. Like… White Boss responded with by asking me to file appearances for him on my latest cases. Chinese Boss is unwilling to name people for a 2018 Event, despite the event organizer requesting names. This is, again, where I am either paranoid or knowledgeable.

(1) My bosses may know that my “Personal Matter” is an interview. They are putting White Boss on my Private Cases in order to make certain that, if I get the job, someone can take care of them.
This possibility seems unlikely. It would reveal an understanding and sense of forethought that I don’t see in my bosses.
(2) My bosses are furious that I would take a total of 5 hours off within one week. After all, we talked about this during my 6 month evaluation. They were very specific with me about not taking time off and/or making sure I was available for the firm during expected business hours with no exception. THIS seems more likely to me. That they are putting White Boss on my Private Cases and refusing to name if I’m going to be with them in 2018 because… “this is the last straw.” That… I’ll walk in to the office tomorrow and get a stern lecture about putting work first. That may well happen. And if it does… so much more reason to wish to crush that interview.

Seriously, people… if you want to fire me, fire me. If you want to take my money, take my money. But every time you do… you make me realize that I would be better off somewhere else. Because I don’t expect you to make allowances for me. I have glaucoma. I have fibromyalgia. I have genuine medical issues. And yet… I work the hours you ask. I serve our clients well. I work weekends for free and drive around the state at your behest. But if getting my eyes checked every 3 months pisses you off? If needing to take care of “a personal matter” is going to throw you into a tizzy? You’re proving me right.

In Tiny Town… I could tell my co-workers I was interviewing. They would wish me luck, offer advice, and tell me that they would miss me but they understood that I needed more. I’ve been honest and open with my bosses here before. I told them I was applying to a job that would give me 3 times the salary, much needed medical benefits, and help my wife in important ways. They came back with anger, hostility, and pettiness. The people I worked with in Tiny Town? Iowans who cared about people. The people I work with now? Chinese who care only about the business. Or so it seems. Who knows? Maybe I am working myself up. Maybe tomorrow, nobody will say anything. Maybe this whole thing will blow over. Maybe I won’t get the job offer, my current bosses can assume/believe my Morning Off was about Health Issues, and things will just continue.

But… I’m not an optimist. I look at what is happening and I try to formulate plans, contingencies… I try to find out where my enemies are so I can avoid them. And the response I’ve received since sending my e-mail? Suggests my bosses may be back on that list.