17 in NoJoMo 2017

Today’s key? Traceability. If you call me on something, and I make an assertion, rest assured I will back it up.

Recycling more......

NoJoMo Day 4 - 11/4/2012

Since I don’t have a tome for either, I’ll try to address both writing prompts. Instead of an extra hour of sleep, I’ll attempt an extra few minutes of writing.

1. What do you desire most in your life? What is holding you back from obtaining or achieving your heart’s desire?

At this point, normalcy. It’s very absent for anyone with somewhat fragile health. I have my soulmate. I had professional potential (though I have my doubts about it since my vision started going). The routines in life, however, are gone – possibly forever. I can’t know on a day-to-day basis how I’m going to feel, whether I’ll be up to whatever I have planned.

That’s put a strain on many other relationships I had. My wife is understanding; she sees what’s going on. Others don’t. But I don’t look sick! Yeah, and you don’t look stupid; looks can be deceiving.

I don’t feel comfortable around other family members for other reasons, too. There’s been a lot of bereavement in the past few years. Nothing, other than this little apartment with my wife, feels like “home.” When we stayed with my mom last year during Irene, it just felt strange. Visiting my grandfather and uncle after my dad died felt strange.

Thanksgiving with her parents will be a bit more comfortable (I am starting to feel a bit more at home at her parents’ place.....it has taken six years, but....), but I’ll be worried about what my mom is doing.

2. What is your strangest tic or habit? For example feeling compelled to sniff your food before eating it or always counting steps when you go up or down stairs.

Uhhh.....<b>I have MS</b>. I have lots of “strange” things. Some of them aren’t terribly noticable if you’re not paying attention. My left foot doesn’t point straight ahead. My gait is weird. I can’t run at all. My eyes do weird dances. Restless Leg Syndrome? Uh, no. But I do have similar twitches.

I also have “angry hands.” I do do this thing where I interlace my fingers when I’m frustrated with something.<hr>
yawn
Yeah, time to post up, and try to sleep. Aint’s aren’t until Monday night. But watching Eli Manning beat the Falcons will suffice.

1. What do you desire most in your life? What is holding you back from obtaining or achieving your heart’s desire?

Last time, I said, “normalcy.”  If I’d known then what I know now, I don’t know that I would have wished for something different, really.  I was completely consumed with my health, not taking into account that on some of the important parts of life, I did have normalcy.

Now, though, I’m aiming to get back to where I was then, financially.  I’m still earning less money than I did then.  I’m not at all secure, financially.  At the same time, what I’m ready for is something new and satisfying.  What I’m doing now is somewhat related to one of my stops in the intervening years.  But it still is a fucking cesspool  Though my main problem before is gone, his mentality pervades.

It takes time to win hearts and minds;  will I be able to do it?  Do I have the stamina?

2. What is your strangest tic or habit? For example feeling compelled to sniff your food before eating it or always counting steps when you go up or down stairs

Since the last time, I’ve started carrying a cane.  I really have problems going down stairs, as my balance is wonky, and I can’t feel my feet.  I also need to tilt my head to the right in order to be able to walk in a straight line.  The angry hands have subsided a lot.  A lot of that probably has to do with the fact that I often have my hands above my head to stretch my diaphragm.