name your rock band “Thoughts And Prayers”
so that whenever there’s
a national tragedy that the Republicans
feel they have to pretend to care about
but certainly don’t want to do anything to actually change
hey, at least you’re trending.

every time somebody shoots up a school or a hospital
and they need to look sensitive and leaderly
without offending the NRA death merchants that own them
your name will be all over facebook and twitter
hundreds of thousands of dollars in promotions
without lifting a finger!

call your band’s tour The Strong Tour and
make hashtag for every city you’re playing

BostonStrong

LasVegasStrong

HoustonStrong

and so on
over the course of the tour
I’m certain a hurricane caused by fossil fuels
will devastate a few of the cities along the way
the odds almost demand it in this day and age
you’ll never have to hire out public relations again.

horror and terror are
a daily occurence now in America and
no one in power wants to do anything about it
because the people who own them make too much money off it
but they’ll always quickly tweet out
all of their thoughts and prayers and
Christ
it’s cheaper than paying off a bunch of radio DJs, isn’t it?
it’s almost as cheap as human life
here in America
in the 21st century

Last updated October 29, 2017