Don't Judge Me! in Parenting

Ha, seriously though. I knew what I was doing. I have a almost 5 month old daughter. Norah is a pretty easy and chill baby. She's my first baby and I never thought Id feel the way I feel for her. She is my life, and my best friend. I take her any and everywhere with me. When I take her out to eat I say "Table for 2" but then realize she doesn't need a seat, or when I purchase tickets, Ill say "2 tickets please!" but only need one because she's free! We're going to be so close as we get older. I was close to my mom too. But there was still things that I couldn't talk to her about and I don't want Norah feeling like that.

I also don't use my baby as an excuse to not do anything. Just because you have a baby doesn't mean your life ends! I feel like mine is just beginning! I actually feel more outgoing and want to do more things SINCE having her! When she was 4 days old we went to my cousins Jewelry Party, went out to eat at 5 days old and just keep going out. I wear her everywhere so that helps. Shes also a sleepy head like mommy.

Where am I going with all of this? The Don't Judge me part? I was invited to a Pure Romance Girls Party, and I asked the hostess who is a good friend if it was alright if I came and brought Norah. I didn't mind but didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, everyone said to come and hang out and bring her so they can see her anyways. They also mentioned shes to young to know whats going on anyways. So we went and had fun. I could also nurse her without anyone saying anything negative to me. That was nice. If there's penises on the table, then I'm sure it was okay that my boob was hanging out.

I want Norah to grow up being comfortable with her sexuality however that may be. I don't want her feeling shamed of any aspect of it. and I don't want her to grow up with a self conscious image. I want her to feel comfortable coming to be and asking me questions. My mom has the No sex before marriage rule so Sex was made to be taboo and I felt weird asking about my body. I had been masturbating for as long as I can remember and I knew I couldn't ask my mom what I was doing. I think I tried to ask when I was about 6 or 7 and all I can remember is feeling embarrassed and that's it. I didn't learn what I was doing until I read Cosmo when I was 16 years old. Even when I tried to ask friends about it they were shocked. I felt dirty, and secretive about it. But now that I'm older its a common topic among friends.

My mom didn't really talk about sex or body parts. All I knew was a Penis goes into the vagina and then you have a baby and you only do this when you're married. I didn't even know what a Penis looked like and asked my brother, who was an awesome artist, to draw me a picture. Then I started to watch porn, and look at porn magazines. If my mom wasn't so secretive or made it seem like it was a dirty sin, then I probably wouldn't have had to see what all the fuss was about. But I could tell it made my mom uncomfortable so I didn't ask her about my body. I didn't ask her what those things that were my labia called. I didn't know what I was rubbing that felt good, was called a clitoris. I didn't know all of this. I didn't educate myself on it until I was older. I started learning about body shaming and decided if I ever had a daughter, I did not want her to go down that road. I don't want her staring at her body parts and wondering if her labia/clit is to big and if she really has a penis or if there's something wrong with her. I want to teach her about her body, what its used for. I don't want her to feel dirty, insecure, or ashamed as so many women are made to feel growing up. I want her to be confident in her self in all aspects.

She will know about sex as she gets older, she will know how babies are born. If/when we decide to have another one she will see how labor is meant to be. Relaxing in the tub as your partner pours water down your back. Labor will not be scary to her but an amazing, spiritual experience. She will know about safe sex, and rape culture, sexism, etc.

We will use correct terms in this house. Penis and Vagina are not bad words. Your body is not "bad". I will not teach her to be ashamed of that.

Baby is up so I will finish this another day.