Stress in My Fucking Feelings

Today my anxiety was very high. I was fighting off social avoidance, but the desire to withdrawl from social interaction was almost unbearable. I find myself worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, and things that are too far past to change. I worry about situations that might not ever occur. I’m very glad that I don’t deal with this on a daily basis like some of my friends do. I just remind myself that it will pass and try to live in the present.

I got to teach an elderly man how to play chess today. That was a great experience. I’m looking forward to the fashion show on Saturday, but I am very nervous to be going alone. I will probably be the only one who is alone. It’s my only day off this week. I fought for it, and I’m determined to enjoy it. My bills need to be paid, but I’m not sure tomorrow’s check will cover them. School is gonna slam me with work and I can’t even do my reading during downtime at the facility where I work. I am very nervous about getting my gpa back up to a 4.0. Hell, I’m nervous about surviving the semester without it dropping. And last semester I take math-my worst subject.

Breathe.

And my schedule with my son is aweful too…

Breathe.

I wish I were coming home to a man at night. I just remind myself how much of a pain that turned out to be before.

I can do this.

I’m fighting for it!