LA for LP in 2017

I really appreciate everyones comments and advice. I feel like everyone (Myself included) is on the same page. I’ve turned my love and passion/hobby, into a job. Its almost like I resent it now for taking me away from my life.

And maybe that has something to do with the fact that I’m happier at home more than I’ve ever been… whereas before, all I wanted to do was get out and away. Or maybe its because I’m feeling shitty about some aspect of my life and just not enjoying the things I once enjoyed… who knows. Because honestly photography isn’t the only thing I don’t like doing anymore.

This last year and a bit has been a hard one, seriously. With Chris’ friggen accident/concussion and trying to heal from that while making sure he didn’t off himself, was a lot of work. Raising these kids basically alone because of his extreme pain, was really fuckin hard on me. I’m so grateful that hes feeling a lot better but its still not 100% and I have a lot of feelings towards this past year.

If you’re new here, go back a few entries and you’ll see where I wrote a big article on the topic. It basically ruined our lives. The entry is called “I’m trying to write a thing”.

Just kind of breaks down what we’ve (I’ve) been going thru. I’m sure I’ve touched on it a lot here as it was a huge part of my life. But I feel like I was always just trying to be super strong because of the situation, when really I was falling apart and I didn’t even know it…

Anyway, off to the city today to find some halloween costumes for the girls.

I forgot to mention that I’m going to LA for the Linkin Park and Friends concert. <3 I had tickets to see the one in Detroit in August, but then he killed himself two weeks before hand… so it was cancelled. I wasn’t going to do this, but Chris convinced me. He said I’d never forgive myself for not going and that I’d regret it for the rest of my life if I chose to sit it out. I know I’m going to be a huge blubbering mess during it but I haven’t been right since he died. Maybe this is the “closure” I need. I know I know, being upset about a celeb is stupid, but ever since I was 14, he has been a massive part of my life/healing etc. His music got me through a lot of shitty times and still has been even in my adult years. Whenever I can’t figure out the words to say, there is always a song that could do it for me. I miss this person so much.

Kristen <3