A Last Refrain in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

Interesting how the word REFRAIN has meanings based on use. Refrain: to stop oneself from doing something; common usage. Refrain: A refrain (from Vulgar Latin refringere, “to repeat”, and later from Old French refraindre) is the line or lines that are repeated in music or in verse; the “chorus” of a song; music usage.

Thus… refrain means both TO STOP ONESELF and to REPEAT ONESELF in a way. Oh, English and your contradictory phrases. Sadly, for those who know me… those who may care about me… perhaps even some who may love me… this is more the MUSIC option than the COMMON option. Because I keep repeating myself, don’t I? Like a pop song for eternity.

SO....

Last night, before she left, Chinese Boss wanted to have a heart to heart. It was almost pretty good. Just letting me know that I need to talk to them more and that will help avoid miscommunication, etcetera. It really was good. Before she showed her true nature again.
She launched back into being upset that I took 5 hours to do something she expected would take me 10 hours to do. Then admitted she hadn’t even read my work she was just that upset that I didn’t take the whole 10 hours because (direct quote) “That must mean you didn’t do a good job and didn’t care about this assignment.” Or… y’know… you could read my work first before saying something like that. But that wasn’t all. No. She was SO upset about my work (that she still hadn’t read) that she asked Chinese Assistant to read my work and report back to her on ways that he thought it could have been improved. So… wait. You’re asking a non-lawyer, non-English native to review my legal writing? But then… another turn. If you ask someone to review another person’s work; there are ethical ways of doing it. Instead… Chinese Boss told me “This is word for word what (Chinese Assistant) said” and then handed me his report. Chewed me out for what he said, but then added “You may want to be a better leader to him.”

WARNING WARNING DANGER WILL ROBINSON

That is a classic “Toxic Work Environment” move. Pit your ‘underlings’ against one another. Make your office space less a “team work” and more of a “competition” space. That is right out of the “Here’s how to create a hostile work environment” book. So… yup. Thanks for the heartfelt talk followed by the assurance that looking to get out is the right instinct!

I was up ASS EARLY today. As our law firm has NEVER heard a Chinese Case that we weren’t willing to take… I had to be at court at 10… in a courthouse 200 miles away. So I was on the road by 6:30. Had the hearing, turned back around to drive the 200 miles again (skipping lunch because… time!) and got back to the office to try to get something, anything, else finished today. Which… still was only 1 billable hour. Funny. Since My work day literally started at 6:30 a.m. today and yet I was the last person in the office. AND have to work a few hours on Sunday. Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

So… I guess I’m going to be doing Job Applications tonight. I’d still feel like shit for leaving these guys high and dry (because that’s who I am… even if it is a toxic situation, I don’t like walking away from my responsibilities)… but… yeah. Definitely want to find a job that doesn’t demand 100% of my time, sanity, and energy.