Better late than never. in The grotesque metamorphosis of a Bi-Polar human into a Tri-polar monster.

I’m sitting here just kind of drunk and just kind of stoned and just sort of manic and maybe a little bit depressed, like maybe I’m suicidal but I don’t actually want to die or kill myself, I’m just kind of over life and waiting to die so I can try something different, and maybe be something different, and maybe experience something different, and maybe I can see how many times I can use the word “different” in one sentence, because that’s something that people like to see…repetition, that’s the cool shit…that’s the real shit…that’s the dope shit…repetition.

It’s like brainwashing.

I’m listening to Funkadelic right now.

I am being brainwashed.

I am drinking wine, and I have had a Redbull, and I have had like…maybe a lot of beer as well, and also a lot of food, and not enough water…and bongs on bongs.

Lately life seems to be like this thing that I’m kind of just waiting out.

I only came on here because I miss typing, and I wanted to just kind of splurge a train of thought kind of thing. Just go crazy and say whatever comes to mind…I mean, that’s the backup plan that actually happened, but the original plan was to try to write some sort of short story based on a premise provided in this book that my step-mom gave me and it was going to be super cool but then I was like, “no”.

it’s the return of the mack.

you lied to me.

yes I cried.

Whatever, dude. I am so fucking crazy, even on these meds, I am just fucking insane, and I am going to keep going insaner and insaner until I can’t insane no mo.

I can’t wait.

I’m going to die cold and alone, with transparent skin and an adult diaper and some disgusting old grey beard full of mucus and blood from years of never cleaning up after myself because I’ve just been rocking back and forth in this little chair that faces a window that faces a brick wall that makes me face the concept of an eternity doomed to hell.

Oh my god, how dramatic am I being right now? Seriously? It’s kind of disgusting. I’m literally dying right now.

literally

Return Of The Mack

I feel like that should have been the official song of the summer for 2017…

…except the official song of the summer for 2017 should have actually been called something like “Are you ready for everything to get fucked?” because that’s more accurately what has been happening this year.

It’s all just been fucked.
a million times over.
it’s like a dude fucking a million puppies.
that’s what it’s like.
I don’t know when I stopped caring about capitalization.

Shake it out…

If you’re reading this, I love you.
I can say that with confidence because I understand that every single living creature is a fractal of infinity and I am experiencing myself with everything I do, just as you are, because everyone is the literal center of the universe, every living god damn thing, every plant and animal, we are the life and death of stars, we are a collective consciousness experiencing itself subjectively throughout trillions of perspectives.

I love you.

Goodnight.