I'm rubbish. in Hello.

I’m aware I don’t update in here very much any more. I’m sorry.
John and I finally managed to declutter and tidy the living room. Our lounge is pretty big and doubles up as a dining room. A couple of years ago, I got a crazy idea to rearrange the furniture, meaning the fire was no longer the focal point. To be honest, I didn’t like it as soon as I’d done it, but because it took me so long to do, I just left it as it was for about 2 years. It was arranged in such a way it was easy to get cluttered and ignore the mess. So the other week, John and I spent a whole day putting it back as it was. Now it’s kept tidy, a quick scoot around and a hoover round the budgie and I’m done. And I feel I can relax.
Also, me eating vegan is encouraging me to make more food from scratch. It’s a lot of trial and error. I don’t like vegan “mince”, but thankfully John does and ate almost an entire cottage pie that I made. My current favourites are creamy mushroom soup made with coconut milk (I’ve made it for two days on the trot now!) and falafel, bean and avocado wraps. I’m also eating breakfast and drinking loads of water, something I wasn’t doing before. I’m a stone and at least a whole dress size down, which I’m chuffed with. I’ve also started walking again, something I used to really enjoy doing, but stopped for some reason. This past week I’ve done one 8 mile and one five mile walks. I need to build up my speed and incorporate more hills to make it worth my while aerobically. I’m trying to save up for a Fit bit, I like seeing things in numbers and graphs!

I’ve had a bit of a low couple of days. Rob and I have an unwritten rule that he contacts me at least once a day. It’s usually just a video of the house kitten or something he’s prepped, often at 2 am, but it’s his way of letting me know he’s there. Yesterday he sent me some screenshots of messages his friend, A, had sent him, basically saying that Rob makes no effort to stay in touch since he moved away and if he doesn’t watch it, he’s going to lose him. FFS. I told Rob that A was being really immature and clingy, that I can not contact my friends for months and we still love each other, that we all have lives and that A could easily pop through to see Rob as he drives and Rob doesn’t. Rob made out it wasn’t bothering him, but I got a hunch it was. I said I’d come through to hang out if he wanted, but he said he was fine. But then he messaged me at 2 am to ask if there was any gossip and he posted a few old photos on Facebook of Rob with John, my dad, the dog, his sisters with grandma, which made me think he was feeling homesick. I didn’t get chance to phone him when I got up, I got called into work early, and John said his calls were going to answerphone. Thankfully Rob messaged me while I was at work, basically poking fun at A and saying he’s got some lovely new friends “he doesn’t need to message every five minutes”. He’s also asked if I’d like him to come home for the weekend, which I’d interpreted to mean please can he come home for the weekend? So I’m picking him up tomorrow after his shift and taking him back on Sunday. Thank goodness I passed my driving test as most of my driving is down to Shap and back!

We are also on flood alert. The river is high and roaring past the house, but it’s stopped raining now and the river is dropping, thank goodness! I’m really pissed off with people coming into the shop and suddenly being experts in river management. I know all about it, I studied it at uni and it’s not as easy as dredging the river or moving some leaves around. Sometimes I feel like saying “hey, there’s an idea! Why don’t you contact the environment agency, I bet they hadn’t thought of that!” Of course I don’t, I just try to ignore them. Or the ones that come in with insincere platitudes or a blasé brush off. I even had one customer tell me today I was wasting my time moving stock upstairs because she was sure it was going to stop raining soon! Oh, ok then. You can pay the enormous insurance premiums or replace all our stock when it’s covered in sewage.
Idiots.

---

Today marks the first anniversary of Jay’s death. Shellie has been so remarkable and strong, I’m proud to call her my sister.

---

Last updated October 11, 2017