In Preparation for... in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

So, this is THE topic of the week but… it makes some sense.

When I saw the City Attorney job post… I felt a thrill that could only be described as Escape. I did an analysis focusing uniquely on (1) Job Pay, Benefits, Satisfaction; (2) Relationships: Wife, Family and Friends; (3) Location: Safety, Comfort, Value.
Tiny Town:
1… Pay is 75% of ideal; Benefits were 65% of ideal; Satisfaction was 50% of ideal.
2… Relationship with Wife was 65% of ideal, family was 45% of ideal, friends were 30% of ideal.
3… Location was 10% of ideal.
CURRENT:
1… Pay is 38% of ideal; Benefits are 0% of ideal; Satisfaction is 30 % of ideal.
2… Relationship with Wife is 32% of ideal; Family is 50% of ideal; friends are 40% of ideal.
3… Location is 90% of ideal.

And I considered why number 2 was so low. Relationship with wife was great in Tiny Town because she was free of her work (mostly) and we relied on each other as we were all the other had. Relationship with wife is horrid here because she has to work twice as much, and see each other more rarely. Family stayed almost-constant because while I struggled to get to my Family while I was in Tiny Town, here… I’m punished for it. Because, and I can’t believe this but… yeah. Bosses have now totally given me the impression that… if my Grandfather had died THIS year as opposed to LAST year, I would not be allowed to go to his funeral. Friends? In Tiny Town, MBFITWW visited me. In the current situation? I am closer to friends and can do something spontaneously (so it improved) but my bosses have asked me/expected me to work without pay on at least half of the Saturdays since I’ve worked here.

So… yeah. I’m back in the “Tiny Town may have been better” mode. Because the job was certainly better in my measurable way. And Relationships? Yeah… it was lonely as hell. I’m not going to argue that. It was lonely and isolated and to the point where it totally drained the soul. But… happier wife plus internet connected video gaming versus miserabler wife and fighting my bosses to have anything resembling a social life?

Ultimately… Tiny Town versus Current? If there is a possible 700%, the math works out as follows:
Tiny Town: 340% of Ideal
Current: 280% of Ideal
That actually, honestly surprised me. I seriously thought Current was still going to pull ahead due to the Location Modifier; but it still fell pretty far short. I suppose that is the result of making 1/2 of much and no benefits.

But the analysis is not what I wanted to discuss and I apologize for wasting your time. What I was getting at was… I was trying to do an honest and clear headed appraisal of the situation. Location, now, is great. Relationships… could use work… and a lot of that is influenced by “Work for Free on Weekend” mandate. Job is… worse. Much worse. As frustrated as I was to get no help in Tiny Town… no help and no interference is better than no help and constantly being ragged on about my work. As bad as it was to have the Board of Supervisors threaten to take away our health insurance… weak health insurance offered begrudgingly is better than zero health insurance. As rough as it was sentencing people to things they’d never do, thus making me feel pointless… at least I was prosecuting and doing something I believed in.

All of this brought about by two things that stemmed from the City Attorney Position popping up.
(1) The feeling I got when I saw a Government Posting. It was… euphoric. The idea that I would be paid a salary, receive benefits, have Government Mandated required sick/vacation/holiday pay… and the promise that they could never demand my time without compensation. It was… like breaking through a wall. I hadn’t realized how miserable I was until I considered the alternate.
(2) Wife’s attitude changed instantly when I told her I was applying. I can barely say this without choking up but… that night, when I told her about it… it was the first time I’d seen my wife in years. It was My wife. The woman I married. The woman who danced, and laughed, and talked to me, and had hopes for a better future. She was there on Monday night.
But I must also discuss reality, because reality gets in the way far too often.
This isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve applied to (quite literally) dozens and dozens of government jobs in my lifetime. I’ve only ever held 1. So… the chances are slim that I’ll get this job. Chances are actually pretty slim that I’ll even get an interview, to be perfectly frank.

But I have to answer an important question in the wake of all of this. And in order to do that (and in order to best frame the conversation I will have with my father on this matter) I wanted to write down my proposal here.

One last, quick thing before I start. Particularly “The Karyn” has noticed that a lot of what I do… isn’t so much “New Attorney” but “New Assistant/Paralegal” work. For instance this morning. White Boss got assigned to 3 new cases. I got assigned to 3 new (totally different) cases. I should, if I’m a new lawyer, either focus on my new cases or get help on my new cases. White Boss tells me to (1) add his cases to his calendar, (2) draft/file his appearance, (3) draft/file his discovery motion. Then he took a call from the Court and said, “I’ll see if my assistant can deal with that.” Got off the phone… and asked me to deal with it. So… yeah. Not, apparently, New Lawyer. New Assistant with the ability to cover Cases if/when bosses are busy. Got it.

IS Bank Teller Is Better Than (Firm Name)

From the pure perspective of pre-established analyses, if we presume a “Worst Case Scenario” we can assume that Bank Teller would be an $11.39 an hour job based on current US Bank documents. This, obviously, places Bank Teller behind FIRM NAME in pay. If we take the $11.39 and multiply it by 40 hours, then multiply that number by 52 weeks.... It would take the Payment Scale from 38% of Ideal to 30% of Ideal. Though I have to say… Law Firm at 38% versus Bank Teller at 30% is a fucking offensively close number all things considered. Benefits… without knowing the specifics, I can’t give a specific number. However, the presence of benefits immediately makes it better than FIRM NAME. So we’ll attach a conservative 20% to that. Satisfaction, obviously, can’t be taken into account as anything but an Unknown Variable at present. Relationship with Wife would likely rise due to my being home more often and our having health insurance so, I’ll write it as 32%+ of ideal; Family would increase at least 20 points due to Banks not working on holidays thus 70% of ideal; and friends would elevate because, even though our activities don’t involve money, they do involve being free Saturday Afternoons… something I could do at a Bank but not in the Firm, thus 65% of ideal. Location remains at 90% of ideal. Thus, strictly from a numbers perspective TINY TOWN: 340% CURRENT: 280% BANK: 307% before adding in the Job Satisfaction Unknown Variable. Which tells me, numerically, if I enjoyed the job at all… it would be an improvement over Tiny Town and Current.

Obviously, I’d prefer a law job… but this experience and the one before honestly make me reconsider. Do I really want a law job? Because… Tiny Town drove me crazy but this? Allow me to be brutally candid.

When I was diagnosed, I immediately did research. I saw the word “Disability” and immediately said “Go fuck yourself.” I dedicated myself to never allowing my health issues to determine how far I could go. Yeah, I can’t dance like I used to. I can’t perform like I once did. And a good solid run takes me a week to recuperate. But I can work and I’m not going to sit around trying to collect disability if I can work.

Tell you the truth?

This job makes me feel disabled. The sleepless nights, the lack of weekends… everything Wife said to me in Law School when she voiced her concerns about me being a lawyer. She asked “How are you going to survive the break-neck pace?” I told her… a Government Lawyer has loads of free time and even if I don’t get that job… I can always rely on Weekend Zombie. After a hard week, I can just crash on the weekend.

I had no idea that I would be required to do things like… drive to IA City (2 hours) on a Saturday Morning to be there by Noon to participate in a Festival Day until 7:30 then drive back (2 hours) at night… all unpaid. That… was not something I had planned on.

So, yeah. Ultimately? This job makes me feel the one thing I’ve been fighting since 2004. This job makes me feel disabled. And that, more than anything, is probably why I feel so negatively about it.

Plus… what kind of tossers tell someone “We really didn’t like how you had doctors appointments.” WTF? I didn’t like how I had doctors appointments. Someone cutting in to my back? Being told I had glaucoma? I’m really terribly sorry they inconvenienced how you ran your business, it was dreadful of me to put you out like that!

Last updated October 05, 2017