Okay. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Speaking of vodka, I made it a week without drinking for the first time in.. well, frankly, I can't remember. Two things have made the difference. One, marking on my calendar when I'm drinking. Sure, I mentally know when I'm drinking, but SEEING it holds me a bit more personally accountable. Two, I've set myself up with a routine that I've done before, I know I enjoy, and I know I've seen results in. Concurrently, after I lift I get all MUST RECOVER SO I GET STRONG AND BIG. As you can imagine, vodka doesn't fit into that picture. That leaves, really, one or two nights a week where I'm not "recovering" or anticipating a workout the next day. My goal was to get myself down to once a week, because I didn't feel any compulsion or "problem" when I was done to once a week (or less).

Normally, I buy Smirnoff 1.5 liter jugs. Because dude, smirnoff goes down pretty damn smooth as for as I'm concerned. I used to keep vodka in the freezer, but with an overload of actual food in the freezer, I don't have room right now. So low and behold, I'm doing shots of room temp smirnoff and it just doesn't phase me at all. That said, I went bottom shelf and bought "Traveler's Club" vodka, which was 13 bucks, which is fucking ten bucks cheaper than the same volume of smirnoff. OH MY GOD IT BURNS LIKE HELL. Not to mention tastes awful. But hey, that's why we got chasers.

Was I going to talk about anything else? Haha, I just fed my cats, and they're running around my flat, chasing each other. I'm so glad I got two (sisters). One unicat would be so lonely with all the time I spend out of the flat, and would ultimately reject an addition of another cat. Because I adore cats and down the road want to get another. You know, add generations of cats as they die off. Morbid, but true. My babies should be good for a loooong time, but eventually they're going to have to deal with Nacho or Worf. Yes, I already know what I'm looking for (unless I find something SO PAINFULLY CUTE I MUST ADOPT.). Nacho will be an orange cat. Duuh. And Worf will be a big fluffy Maine Coon cat or something. Like MEOW I AM WORF.

I remember when four shots meant I couldn't walk. Ha. HA. Now it means I just feel mmmmmmm. And ramble about cats. I wish I didn't have a job and could just cuddle with my cats all the time. T'Pol may love food, but just about every morning when I sit here to check stuff, Kira will jump on my lap. And I feel bad because I have to be all, "Not now, Kira." Because I'll be eating, or I'll.. I don't know, won't have the time or something. And then later, I'll look down and realize she's installed herself on my lap, eyes glazed over, purring away. Kira's kinda dumb, but she's such a sweetheart. Actually, T`Pol will jump on my lap now and then, and it's like "Aw, you love me, tooo." ....Okay, really, I just need to clip their nails and I'm lazy. I have little scratches on my arms/legs that I don't notice much but are there.

I get annoyed when family is all "What's new?" I always draw a complete blank. What, you want to know I masturbated yesterday? I doubt that. Oh man, tomorrow is february, and I promised myself I would email my sister at least once a month. What? She's my sister and I'm afraid of her! You think she wants to know I masturbated yesterday? (Now that I think about it, I don't think I did wank yesterday.)

It's been an okay week. I say "okay" because... I haven't been overly depressed. This is something to be noted. I'm actually looking forward to my next workout on Monday. Me. This is for me. After I broke up with Candi, one of my mantras was, a la Home Alone, "This is my house, I have to defend it!" Yet I feel mildly anxious sometimes, being here alone. I feel far, FAR better being here with someone else. I've been good about socializing, finally established reoccurring visits with Erik and Liz. Yet, focusing on ME has been a bit more.... satisfying. Maybe it's just feeling better about this shell I occupy. Looking in the mirror and feeling, if only for a moment, actually decent about the way I look. Just an iota of pride. Pride, next to all those bigger or with fucking bronze abs.

Hrm. Not bad for four shots.