This Week! in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

This week is killing me, man.

Last night was my dad’s retirement party. My Dad’s Grandfather started a business in 1922. When he retired, my Dad’s Dad took over the business. When my Grandfather retired, the business world had changed so much that consolidation was killing everybody. My Dad, though he hated it with a passion, had to lay off people he loved and shutter the business. That was in 2001. He still worked in the industry between 2001 and 2009 but hated the culture of the new company. They wanted to use his experience while “punishing him for being a former competitor.” He hated it. But in 2009, they fired him. They basically said, “You’ve given us any secrets or success plans your old company had and we don’t need you anymore.” He instantly got a phone call from an old friend of his in the industry. He joined their company and, in his own words, “It was like being welcomed home.” He worked there from 2009 until TODAY. 3 Generations in the Industry. My dad worked in the business for 42 years.

So… yeah, going to his retirement party was a freaking MUST. Plus, I had to (HAD TO) get some work filed so the judge could see it before next week. Plus, in this CLE I’m in… we had to do Openings and Closing Exercises today so I had to prepare those. Add in the fact that my entire weekend is being eaten up by a Non-Paid Work Obligation that requires a 4 hour roundtrip drive and a 9 hour event.... let’s just say I only got 2 hours of sleep last night.

Which puts me in that place where… I have so much to do. I have so much that needs to get done. I have so much that I should absolutely make sure gets taken care of. But… it is so hard not to just think.... fuck it.

Everything I’ve heard at this CLE is “You do excellently with Trial Practice.” Meanwhile… I feel like I fail at everything I do at the firm. So… there is a disconnect there. I don’t want to let my clients down… and I need to get more clients… but… seriously. The unpaid event work? The rest of the firm stuff? Gosh. It is going to be hard to keep pushing forward. I hate to say it but… yeah, I’ve started haunting the Public Attorney Job Boards again. And it has only been 6 months.