angel of the morning in Songs

Last week was an explosion of heart and emotions. When John Henry and I were up in Maine for Alex and Sean’s wedding we stayed with our friend Evan, who mentioned a couple times in passing about his interest in starting a commune in the middle of Maine. For a couple weeks when we got back home, John Henry asked about it a few times, expressed an interest to the point that I decided it was time to consider it seriously. To me, living off the ground and out of the city? Sounds pretty good.
Disclaimer: Please don’t tell me it will be hard work. So far it’s happened once or twice and let me tell you that it is an insult that you think I either haven’t considered yet that it will be hard work or that you don’t think I’m up for the hard work. This past weekend I had lunch with some extended family that I haven’t seen in 14 years and the woman had the nerve to tell me that she didn’t think farming was for me, it’s really hard work. Bitch! You don’t know me!
I’ll admit I can be lazy as a log but I have worked on a farm before, and when it comes to manual labor I can really carry my load and pick up slack on top of it. Excuse my hubris, it will be hard work for sure, but it’ll be hard work where I get to be the boss, only accountable to myself and my friends, and will be the one to reap the fruit of my efforts. Seems like the worthwhile kind of hard work.

Starting out with a comprehensive reading list, starting with the Nearing’s seminal post-depression foray into Vermont ruralism as expats of NYC. Going from city dwellers to country boys will probably come with some withdraw but I’m sure it’ll be alright. Life goes on! I want land! I want forest! I want fresh eggs and homegrown weed! And eggplants and vines on vines of sweet peas and tomatoes! Can I just say, also, that around last year I started a list of things that I want to do, and having free range of land allows me to do the bulk of it. Carving wood, arranging stones, weaving grass and sewing petals. Making natural dyes. My chatty nature and whimsy will miss all the bars and clamor of the city, but we’ll always be able to come back to visit or vacation.

I still haven’t told my family and am pretty damn nervous about it. At extended family lunch my dad got to hear that I was thinking of doing farming next in life, but that was about it. Maybe I’ll just leave clues for a bit. I also haven’t told work. We’ll only move up there in May or June after the last winds of winter, but we’re trying to figure out if this coming May and June is viable or if we need to wait until 2019.

Anyway, this is a big deal and Very Scary and Stressful, but I think this is the first time probably in my life that I am experiencing that kind of stress that people always say is motivating and invigorating. I’m excited in a way that seems rational, which I’m not used to. We’re giving ourselves a lot of planning time. From a first glance, between all four of our meager savings we can afford a lot ! Not like a Lot but like 17+ acres if that’s what we want. Still figuring out how much we need/want! Still looking at a lot of different real estate listings. Looking at plans for yurts and composting toilets. Reading a lot! In the past when I’ve taken grand leaps I’ve done so without any planning and with a full dose of ennui and seat-pants flying. The fact that things are feeling and going differently this time is already a good omen.

We’re having our first conference call this Wednesday. I was such a stressed and excited mess thinking about it that I wrote up an agenda for the call. Need to wrap our heads around this in a collective way, get on the same page.

It’s a good morning because of all this and also because I’ve made a youtube playlist with every single version and cover of “Angel of the Morning,” including Shaggy’s interpolation, “Angel.”

Last updated September 26, 2017