Nothing in Watching Life Fly By

I’m broken. I am not pregnant. I cannot get pregnant without medical intervention this time it seems. I’m ready to give up after over 2 years of trying. People love to give advice: “Stop worrying and it will happen.” “Get drunk and it will happen.” “Take a vacation and it will happen.” “Prop your legs up.” “Do it doggie.” “Stand on your head.” “Take vitamins.”

It hasn’t happened. I’ve had 1 healthy child by accident. I have had 3 early losses. I have tried numerous medications and tests. I’ve seen a specialist. My insurance doesn’t cover this…I can’t bring myself to spend thousands to get pregnant if it’s not “meant to be.”

I’m mad at the world.