Create a Title in Everything Else

The last six/seven weeks have been so disjointed. I can’t seem to get back on track and just when I thought I was going to have time to get stuff done and settled, something is throwing it all off. My aunt was supposed to have surgery August 25, but cancelled it since the doctor never actually scheduled it with the hospital and thankfully she had the forethought to maybe not trust a doctor that cannot schedule a surgery for the day he said he was going to. She finally got a second opinion, from an actual specialist (the first doctor was a pain management doctor…) last Tuesday and is having surgery in a couple of hours. So, I am helping out my mom with her aftercare and pupsitting her schnauzer. I am trying to pin down whether or not we are having a meeting this afternoon. If we are not having it, I am going to head out early and either meet up with mom at the hospital or head home to wrangle my blind dog, my deaf dog and the hyper schnauzer. One adorable antidote: Shelby the schnauzer, runs and hops in front of Cooper, my blind diabetic disabled dog, in an effort to get him to play with her. He can’t see her so he has no idea she wants to play and she just stares at him like “dude?”.

I began August by doing my usual, tearing apart my studio/office and it is still not fully functional! Every time I get ready to organize and clean, a project pops up and once I finish that, and look at the disaster, I find something else to do. I am trying to make a clear list of things I HAVE to get done and then break them down into smaller tasks and get ONE thing done before moving on to something else. I just cannot get shit figured out. The same thing is happening at work too. August was a fucking nightmare having to do my job, my counterpart’s job and BC’s job! Add to that the fact that nK is NOT doing her job and my supe is relying more on me to get stuff done (which is GREAT for my evals/reviews/promotion attempts) I am taking work home again. The same thing happened exactly one year ago. I was thrust into taking on more responsibilities and while I have made great changes, problems still exist and when I find one, I find a hornet’s nest of shit that is not being done correctly. Couple that with state-wide budget cuts and this program is on its way to death! It has been on life support and the more I try to get it stabilized, another wound opens up and bleeds like a motherfucker.

I am scheduled for some time off in October, a whopping three days, but I am having second thoughts about it now. On Day Two, there is a training that is where I had planned on being (shopping and relaxing though, not working). My only issue is I am not sure I want to get up extra early on Day Two to drive the 2 hours to the training, when I had planned on sleeping in and not being rushed, hence taking time off to RELAX! It is a training I need though and the other one is the week after another two hours in the other direction. Who knows what the weather will be like (we are expecting/praying/hoping for snow the end of this week!) in mid to late October…Plus another day away from the office the week after my “vacation” would put me even further behind the proverbial eight ball.

Oh and here is another thing that has pissed me beyond the point of fucking furiated…Supposed BFF, to be now know and Bunt! I sent her son a gift for his birthday. I ordered and had it shipped directly to her because I am not paying for shipping, fuck that. I know for a fact it was delivered on Thursday. His birthday was Sunday. I understand not giving it to him early even though she is known for doing that. But a text to say “Hey we got it.” would have been nice. Even a thank you would have been appropriate. But…NOTHING. She has not texted me regarding it at all. I am fucking done with her shit. I sent her an email two weeks ago and zero response, I send her kid a gift and nothing. I sent her other son a gift in July and received the same treatment. For my birthday, she sent me flowers, the day after. I sent her items from her wish list. She remembered the day AFTER my birthday to send me fucking flowers. Beautiful, but still fucking flowers…the afterthought of gifts. She had more than enough time to post videos and pictures of her kid in his “birthday crown” from school…but nothing to me for putting some thought into a gift for her fucking kid. on the plus side, I just cleared off some items from the Christmas budget!

Still waiting to find out about today’s meeting or non-meeting. Would like to find out soon so I can grab some lunch either way! STARVING.