Fuck everybody. in Since OD is shutting down....

Ok so this is the second weekend in a row that I’ve asked my brother to watch my kid and he didn’t. I watched his kid Friday night and then yesterday I had both kids and they were both driving me up the fucking wall so he came for his and told me he’d watch mine today but we know that isn’t going to happen. I am seriously up to my ears with the selfishness from my family. I’ve actually blocked him on Facebook and plan to have no more contact. I just can’t handle dealing with people who make me so angry.

I really don’t think asking for someone to watch my kid so I can get a break is the big deal that they make it out to be. No one in my family knows what it’s like to be a single parent and that’s why they don’t understand where I’m coming from. I haven’t had a break from her unless it’s to run errands and go to work so it would be nice if I could find someone to watch her once in a while for even a couple of hours so I could nap and shower without her crying. I honestly just feel like I’ve gotten such a raw deal and sometimes I just sit here and cry.

My family are very selfish people and I think it’s just because they are so used to me doing stuff for them and they don’t have to do anything for me that they think I’m going to let that continue but I’m not. I have a child now and they need to understand she is my top priority and it’s sad that they won’t help me and if they do, they have to be getting something in return when I’ve helped all of them a thousand times and didn’t expect even a fucking thank you.

Anyways, I’m going to try and get as much sleep as I can today because I work tomorrow. I’ve been picking up the house and getting things done so I won’t have to do much throughout the week. I’m just tired and I wish that I had some help. I know her Dad was never going to be around or his family but I was really hoping that me having a baby would have changed things within my own family and I was wrong. Horribly wrong.

I’m just grateful that I have my own place and I’m fine on my own but I just don’t think it’s fair that I can watch my brother’s kid but then when I’d like him to watch mine, he just absolutely won’t do it. I am just so angry at how much I’ve done for everyone and at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. I’m no good to any of them unless they are mooching off me. Well, that’s gonna fucking stop.

More later.