3 part dream in Random Thoughts

All week i knew it was a detailed dream week, but i kept being woken from sleep (warm nights with the french doors wide open). Finally Friday night i dreamed with much detail, even though much of it was lost right when i woke

(i woke and was able to tell my dream to my companion asap)

Know, my therapist says, that each part of the dream is an expression of ourselves. For example, in this first section, i am the lamb and i am the people calling the lamb back because of the perceived danger.

Oh gosh, how nice to even be able to say this....but its a free day for me and i was invited to get bubble tea and go thrift store shopping. I’ll save and get back later.

background: this is set on the fairgrounds of my childhood home, Orofino, Idaho. Though, it’s the dream version. everything is in the animal and crafts section of the county fair.

Scene 1:
I see big open dirt and grass fields behind my town, and it is county fair time. Underneath a picnic area is a group of people i am with. Off in the near distance i see cows and other farm animals and i want to see them. I call to the dog, who is really a little lamb when i look at him, to join me to see the cows. As we head over, someone from the group calls the dog back, with a kind of aggressive voice. She is worried that its dangerous for the lamb. I feel shame because i know i am the one who called to the little lamb and i don’t want the group to know that. I want them to think the lamb just joined me. As i walk toward the cows, i see that they are very large, bigger than is possible. One cow’s face is 3 times the size of a typical cow. But it is not scary at all.

i am the lamb. i am the people calling the lamb back. i am scared. i am not scared. i am ashamed.

Scene 2:
Set inside a big wooden building, narrow and long. The inside is painted white, very shiny. What i know, and what actually happened in the dream though i can’t remember, is that there were many things for sale in this building, all laid out along the walls. Also, many people were playing games like cards and dice…maybe like the games part of a carnival, but more like a casino.
I am in one part of the long-ish hallway. On one side is a doorway to another section that looks like where i am, then a wall that is the end of the building. on the opposite section, the building opens up to a big wide room. In the middle of where i am is a wide stairway, very wide. The odd thing about it is that it stops at the second story right above my head. I can see whats up on the second story (very much like where i am). The lack of stairs is not disconcerting, just a fact. I know that the bathroom is up on the second store and i believe there is a smaller stairway at the end of the hall.
One way to get between the 1st and 2nd floor is this weird contraption kind of like a garbage chute or very small elevator. I use it the first time, crawl into the small space that requires me to lay down and crouch. I push the button on the outside of the chute and pull my hand in. I wonder how i am going to feel about being in such a small space, but i know i am not afraid of confined space.
Another time i need to get to the upstairs to pee, a man is with me. I am concerned that when i get up to the second floor, he is going to entrap me. I worry he will lock me in the backroom and try to hurt me. When i come down in the chute again, i am more worried about confined space, but i seem to be ok. But, as i am heading down there is a problem and i feel panicky, i can’t seem to get out. There must have been a malfunction and i am able to get out without too much fear or panic.
The third time i need to get into the chute i accidentally push the wash button (???) and i am trapped in the chute with all the warm water spraying about me, the soap, and possibly chemicals. I cup my hands over my mouth and nose, taking shallow, slow breaths. Thinking to myself, “i can do this. i wonder if i will make it?” I am not feeling super scared or panicked. While i don’t remember experiencing getting out of the chute, i know i end up being ok. Part of this is because the third section of my dream occurs.

Scene 3
There is graffiti all over a large concrete wall, some if it is words, some of it figures of people. What i know is that this is all the heartfelt expression of people who are being oppressed because of their sexuality.
Right next to the wall are a couple people and a contraption meant to paint over the graffiti (another way to oppress and try to erase the artists). The contraption is going to very aggressively spray a dark paint over everything. One piece of art that stands out is a while or light colored figure of a person. A little more than a stick figure, but not a full painting, empty of paint in the middle.
The next thing i see is a room with some of that graffiti’d wall and more people about to paint over it. The difference is that the people who are going to cover it at the artists themselves. They are not going to spray paint it, but hand paint it.
So, i run, full-force, at the people and their set-up. With glee and joy i barrel into the whole set, basically cannon balling at everything and knocking it all over. We all wrestle, celebratory like. Once i look up, though, the area has been painted. I drop to my knees, completely devastated. Looking at the pale figure that had been painted over i am wailing, crying, heart broken.
I want to peel up the paint or scratch it off. Then i notice that in my cannon-ball effort i had lost all of the items in my pocket. (in real life too) I am really worried about losing things, that i will be seen as flaky and unable to keep my stuff together. I see my three rings on the ground, and wallet. Then i see my mom’s ring that has her children’s birthstones in it. The band is horribly misshapen, but only at first (and i wonder if maybe that visual is from earlier in my dream), the next time i see it on the ground the band has been fixed. At each previous crinkle there is a little round link connecting the next piece. The band now looks flexible like the rings of a necklace, but is still a ring.

A lot of detail, yes?

Last updated September 04, 2017