april store not find thing. in yes i'm aware it's 2016.

so. from back in april: ‘my her day was going ok untill later er earlier tonight. i also wants to cry btw and i am this./close. [i does really want to cry.]. well it’s a lot better than some of the other things she could be doing. i keep telling myself ‘it’s ok to be pissed off but please be quiet about it.’. and that’s the thing i don’t doesn’t want to be. oh now sI wants to leave oh that’s convenient. when she’s not supposed to. well I can leave my rm and go into the rest of the house that would be ok. she’s just. so when she was at the store earlier she called the lady.

and the lady called her..........and kept calling...........and kept calling so finally she put her phone on silent cause that was getting really damn annoying. yes. she knows the lady’s called. she got the message. like please for the love of god stop and calm down what could possibly be that important for someone to call that much in that short period of time? that’s why usually she doesn’t call people like that er phone them. she honestly thought it was something at the house that something had happened at the house. she didn’t know it was about her. well she found out what was ‘that important’. it was cause the lady coudn’t get ahold of her. yes cause she kept pushing her away by calling. like really what is that hard to understand about that? she was at the damn store really she was fine. and right now since she’s living w/ people she’s not going to be stupid enough to go off w/ a random person even if they seem like a nice normal customer from the store. like she’s not stupid. but god people sure do like to worry. usually she won’t do that to someone. if she’s that worried she’ll blatantly tell someone or tell a mutual friend. good god. no need to patronise people by worrying about them and treating them like a child. she doesn’t believe in doing that. [‘believe in’ as though it’s santa claus.]. yeah guess what? pushing people away by annoying them and keeping on doing it.doesn’t work. but they, obviously, have different opinions on that. god people should just calm down and smoke a bowl. and then they wouldn’t worry cause they’d be too stoned too. [no she really wishes they would. she probably shouldn’t talk though cause she should be smoking a bowl right now as well]. or a drink god she needs a drink and not cause of withdrawl. cause of this whole............thing.

the difference between her and the rest of the world.is she doesn’t worry. she doesn’t patronise. when. it’s been almost 3 yrs. ago now. the first lady she lived w/ was like that. once after she’d had surgery she drove her and the main character back. and didn’t have anyone else do it. although she probably should’ve. and what’s weird.........is she liked that about the lady.it wasn’t foreign to her she could relate to that. like ‘oh ok cool. you’re not going to put that much stock into worrying about me. great i like this plan’. but then everybody else had to go and decide for her that she shouldn’t be living there bc of that. they called it neglect. yeah it probably was but she expects that. times like now.........in a weird way she wishes she were back there. bc the lady didn’t worry all that much about her. people had to take her out of somewhere that was comfortable to her. well sure a heroin addict might be comfortable doing drugs shooting up but that doesn’t mean it’s good.for them or in general. well sometimes she’d rather have what’s comfortable then what’s good. like right now for instance.

so that was the big news of the day. oh the absurdity of life. it’s so godamn ridiclous that sometimes........just have to laugh. like life should not be this complicated.
yeah so it’s not entirely about her. the lady wouldn’t be doing her job if she didn’t.........call the police or someone else. no see it’s about the lady she’s living w/ not her. no one has to say it. and clearly she doesn’t care if she’s happy. if she had called the police then the MC really would have left. so then that really wouldn’t have done anything for anyone. like ok how would that have helped? exactly. it wouldn’t’ve. so there’s really no point.
at least there’s one person out there who cares if she’s happy. and that’s him and she loves him for that but it’s also sad. like oh..........ohhh........
and in her world.people only call the police when someone’s in trouble not when someone’s ‘worried’. no that doesn’t happen. and she’s thought of telling the lady that so that kindof er ‘forces’ the lady not to call them. but hey you want to make the situation worse ok. be the fukin guest. and yeah that’s her way of saying ‘no we’re going to do this my way. not yours. mine.’ and then the lady would be ‘well then what am i supposed to do?’. um nothing. she’s just supposed to sit there and wait 5 godamn mins. untill she calls again. that’s what she’s supposed to do. or, you know. fuking off is always an option. [this is funny to her for some reason]. god she didn’t run away [er ‘elsewhere’ since ‘away’s‘ not a thing.]. she was at the store holy crap. ‘

Last updated September 04, 2017