the move. in 2017. got it.

right so. onto well............a slightly lighter topic. um. the move. well back in uh fukin july it was like.the 6th or something my mom told me i was movie er i mean moving.

actually.......... ok well this has been c + p’d:

‘ So, I moved. Almost a month ago. Well the whole household moved. Yeah when my mom told me the beg. of july she phrased it as ‘anita’s moving’. Well [and actually that’s not what she meant. But]. But when I heard that it’s like ‘omygod what did I do?’. And my next thought was something like ‘well where am I gonna go?’. Well so my mom showed me the email from Marty. And it was that the whole household was moving. But until I knew that..........

and so when my mom the lady were talking about it. The lady told her ‘if anne chooses not to move w/ us’. [the rest of that statement isn’t the point]. And yes I did have that choice. But it’s not a choice I should’ve made. [and I didn’t by the way]. But where they were moving to [and actually did move to] wasn’t my choice. And had I made the choice not, to move. Well I only have 6 hrs. by myself at the house. It’s not like ‘ok well you’re allowed to stay here overnight by yourself and into the next day while the rest of us move’. [btw more on the 6 hrs. thing later. at some point]. no. see I didn’t go and visit other HHPs while all this was happening. Like where was I during this decision? Well I wasn’t cause it wasn’t my decision. It was my decision who to move in w/ but not...............well no it was my decision where to move. Except. It wasn’t in that no one.llike myself, my mom, marty and the lady didn’t all sit down and have a meeting about it. And were like ‘ok well we’re thinking of moving and do you want to visit other HHPs?’. No that never happened. When the lady I were talking about she went ‘I wished i’d had more time’. Well she did! [as you can tell this bothers me quite a bit]. She did have time. She from my perspective had the whole month of um...........may [as I was busy in june] to talk to me about it and like acknowledge me by doing so. And give me more time to think about it. I don’t know what she’s talking about. I don’t fully believe that. [I haven’t told her that, for maybe obvious reasons.]. For whom exactly? Me? Her? It’s not a matter of time it’s a matter of priority.

Yes I understand she didn’t want to tell me that if it wasn’t happening. So waiting until ‘the last minute’ as it were, was better? ok. [no.........no one’s not necessarily better, than the other].
The only thing that would’ve changed if she’d let me know that far in advance.is.well that. I guess.......w/ HHPs and their clients and such most of them .aren’t like me. Ok so we’re just supposed to go along w/ things like this like we’re objects and don’t have minds of our own. [ok i’ll stop].

If I hadn’t ‘gone along w/ it’. Well where would I have stayed while I was thinking of somewhere else to live? Like I said I didn’t go and look at places. And either way I would’ve had to pack so.

No it wasn’t my decision but I still felt I should’ve been acknowledged more. It’s like people were talking about, me instead of to me. I’m actually aware enough to comprehend things like this to the point where they bother me. Jennifer’s not. [sorry but she’s pretty.......out of it pretty unaware. And in a way she’s lucky and in some ways well.that’s not such a good thing]. ‘

Last updated July 17, 2018