the suggestion box in poetry

Don’t call it a “love/hate relationship” call it “Sweet ‘N’ Loathe”?
Put a sign up in your restaurant: “Like our salads? Lettuce know!”
Yell “GOING INTO THE MARINARA TRENCH!” every time you dip your mozzarella sticks? Life’s too short not to.
Print out the word “caution” 50,000 times. Shred the paper into confetti. Go outside. Throw caution to the wind.
Decorate your cupcakes to resemble the planets and hope someone makes the “what does Uranus taste like” joke.
Make a movie about Tweety’s endless torture of Sylvester The Cat called “Taw”.
Carve a ham into the shape of Pikachu and call it “Porkymon”.
Start a fourth-wave feminist sex shop, you can sell shameless plugs.
Every time you’re in a large crowd of people, estimate how many pounds they all will poop that day.
Create superhero psychiatrist mummy called “Shrink Wrap”.
Write a book on the revolving door that is the fake president’s administration and call it “A Fistful of Dullards”.
For all the terrible celebrity child names out there, Ben Stiller could’ve at least named his kid Ben Stillest.