Voices in my head in Flaming June

I could hear the voice. Whispering to me. ”Gaff… Gaff…” from just behind me. Or to one side, I couldn’t tell.
The voices have started. I had a feeling the day would come. I set of welcomed it, actually.
I looked behind the bookshelves to see if someone was pranking me. (I was in the library, looking for a book on woodcarving). Then I looked up. Cyril was above me, on the balcony grinning down.
I’ve been seeing a lot of Cyril lately. He’s moved back here recently, following another relationship break-up. To say it’s a long story would be like saying that War and Peace is a lengthy read.
He’s a lovely man, he doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body, but he’s chaotic and still wrestling with alcoholism. He’s torn between his need to write songs and perform in public - and to make money to appear worthy and gain approval from his dead dad.
We always have lots to talk about. ( we went to school together, for one thing. We’ve been friends for 40 years) We’ve been playing music together lately, we did a few songs at an open mic at a bar in town. Cyril finds it hard to be in bars though. He says it’s like ”If you spend long enough at a barber’s, you’re going to get a haircut.”
I completely get that. I try and avoid smoking weed these days, successfully for the most part. But if I spent a couple of hours in a coffeeshop, it would be so much harder.
That’s why I have the most sympathy with people with food addictions.
I mean, giving up smack or booze or something - that would be hard. But if you just stay away from bars, or from smack, and from anyone who does it - you could probably manage it.
But imagine - conquering an addiction over something that you need a smallish amount of every day. 3 times a day. That would be so hard.
Anyway, Cyril finished his work and we went outside for coffee and a cigarette. I asked him why he’s working at the library. He’s living with the new love of his life, they seem very taken with each other. She has a teenage son though, who had invited his girlfriend over for the day, Cyril thought he’d get out of the house and leave them to it. To do whatever it is teenagers do.
Neither of us could remember clearly what that is.

Last updated August 21, 2017