Drama with family! in Since OD is shutting down....

OK so as I already predicted, it didn’t work out with my daughter being at my parents house. Wednesday it was fine because my Mom was off so she was home and my baby was fine the entire time. I still came home feeling like I wanted to find someone else to watch her because I just don’t want to rely on them for anything. Anytime I ever have, they take advantage and it doesn’t end well. Then yesterday....

I was at work all day. We did paternity test in the morning and then my Mom took her to my Dad so I could get to work on time. Well, I don’t hear from him the entire day so I text at about 4pm on my break and he told me that she had been crying since my Mom had dropped her off. So, she’d been crying for about 4 hours at this point. Why he didn’t bother to notify her Mom (me) is still something I’m questioning but whatever. Well we get busy and I’m unable to leave to go get her so I’m completely freaking out, I can’t concentrate, I’m just losing my mind worrying about what’s happening and felt completely powerless. My Dad had told me my little brother (he’s 22 and lives with them) had been threatening to rob the gas station by their house and call the cops saying my Dad has done stuff to him. Then, he proceeds to tell me that he was outside feeding the horses and had left my daughter in the house alone with my little brother.

So I finally bed to leave and drove 100mph to get my daughter. I walk in and the house smells super strong with dog piss and gave me an instant fucking headache. I put the baby in her carseat, grabbed the diaper bag and headed out the door. My Dad kept saying how I needed to take her to the hospital because she’d been crying for 7 hours non-stop. I left there and went to my brothers house. I fed her 4 ounces, changed her, and she slept 12 hours straight. I didn’t completely believe my 6 week old baby could have cried that long but after her sleeping that long, I knew it was true.

Honestly, I think she’d started crying and my Dad who has very little patience started freaking out screaming which scared her more. I also wonder if he had changed her diaper the whole day because there’s been a couple of times he’s watched her and he’s left her sitting there with a saturated diaper. I also wonder if her smelling dog piss all day gave her a tummy ache and that’s why she had cried so much. I will never know exactly what went on but I’ve made daycare arrangements and my daughter will never be at their nasty house ever again.

It’s just insanity that she was just fine when my Mom was there on Wednesday, she’s never cried much for me, and today at daycare she was so good and my daycare provider had absolutely no complaints at all. Obviously something was going on for a little baby to cry for 7 fucking hours. I know that I’ll never say anything about it because my parents are the most defensive people on the planet and nothing would ever get talked out anyway but I know better to ask my Dad to ever watch her again and I might still ask my Mom but she’s going to have to come to my house to babysit.

It just pisses me off that this is how things go every time. I also told my Dad that I would pay him to watch her but I haven’t given him any money. I gave them money to watch her so I could run errands while I was on maternity leave along with gas and groceries. They got paid very well to come around for a maximum of 2 hours each time. I also paid the down payment for their stove and I was promised to get paid back some today since my Mom got paid but that didn’t happen either. Surprise, surprise. I am just glad that I have her in daycare where it’s going to be a lot cheaper than paying my Dad to watch her, along with other things like gas, beer, or dinner every night.

My Dad has to get paid for anything he does for other people. I’m really sick of it. I’ve been dealing with it my whole life and I’m glad that him watching my kid didn’t work out because I just didn’t want to be in a position where I was going to have to give him money and shit all the fucking time. I’ve always helped my parents and given them money without expecting a damn thing in return but then when I need their help, it costs me an arm and a leg?! Uh, no I can’t allow it anymore. I just don’t think it’s taken into consideration that I don’t make a lot of money, my daughter’s Dad isn’t around and will more than likely never pay a fucking dime of child support!

Work is going okay. I’m not sure how I feel about the new GM. I also don’t like feeling uncomfortable asking to leave when I’m scheduled off. I’m a Mom now and when I’m scheduled to leave that’s a big deal to me, especially when I have already been away from my daughter for the entire day! I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable asking to leave. I didn’t make shit this week but I’m hoping next week will be better. I’m very concerned about money at this point and feel like I’m not going to get ahead in my bank account as fast as I expected. I wish I could work all the time to have the savings like I did but I don’t want to be away from my daughter more than what’s necessary. I want to be with her as much as I possibly can. I just love her and because she doesn’t have 2 parents, I want to spend as much time with her as I can.

Anyways, my back hurts and I need to go wash bottles before I go to bed. More tomorrow.