adirondack animal land in poetry
- Aug. 3, 2017, 10:16 a.m.
- |
- Public
maybe the Gloversville petting zoo would be doing better
if the main talking point of their billboards wasn’t
“CASH ONLY, NO CREDIT OR DEBIT”
it’s a bad look
DON’T EXPECT WELL FED GIRAFFES, they may as well be saying
WE CAN’T EVEN PAY VISA AND MASTERCARD FOR THEIR SKIM OFF THE TOP
it’s a bad look
the alpacas are all poorly groomed
the horses wear second-hand shoes
the elephants all have the blues
that’s what it looks like, anyway
because the first thing you tell us is
you do not take credit cards
it’s a bad look
for all I know
you might be a wonderful game farm or
zooish kind of thing but
I’m not going there because I presume
you’re shoddy as hell
because you won’t even get
one of those card-readers you slap on a tablet
it’s a bad look
and the website’s boldest claim on their front page?
NO OUTSIDE FOOD
WE HAVE SO MANY FINANCIAL PROBLEMS
THE ANIMALS ONLY EAT WHEN PEOPLE BUY FOOD INSIDE
AND GIVE IT TO THE ANIMALS
which may as well not be true but
that’s what it looks like?
maybe, and I’m just blueskying here
if you took credit and debit cards or
even just didn’t make the focus of your ads
that you don’t take credit and debit cards
you’d get more customers and
you could afford to pay the credit cards
their skim off the top?
I’m just saying
this could be your problem
it’s a bad look, guys
I see these ads and
imagine the world’s saddest giraffes
such goddamned sad giraffes
crying on the hippos like rain
tears like rain on the African plain
that’s what your billboard looks like
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