New stress. in Since OD is shutting down....

Alright so I’d like to go back to work in a couple of weeks. I’ve texted the new manager yesterday and he has yet to respond. Being ignored is making me feel like getting put back on the schedule is going to be a problem. It’s really frustrating when I’ve worked there for almost 4 years and I go on leave to have a baby and now I’m worried I may not have a fucking job?! I’m going to text the owner at some point today and see what she says. If she ignores me, I’m going to give it a few days and if I still don’t hear from anyone, I’m going to talk to the Dept. of Labor because what they are doing is illegal.

I just got done applying online for school. Everyone tells me that now because I have a kid, I’d be able to get a lot more grants and maybe I’d get enough college money that I wouldn’t have to worry about working for awhile which would be awesome because then I could just stay home with baby and not have to worry about putting her in daycare or having my Dad watch her until she’s bigger and stronger. I can also apply for a stipend in November and that would help pay the bills. I get that everything happens for a reason but I still would like to work, even if it was just 3 days a week.

BD was messaging my friend yesterday and she finally blocked him but I know that she won’t leave it that way. I’m just getting annoyed with her because she feeds into it just as much as he does. I could care less what he has to say and I’m just sick of him blaming me for everything that’s happened. I honestly want that emotionally fragile worthless piece of shit to just go away and let me live my life. I don’t believe that he gives a crap about his daughter, but just likes to fight and argue. Literally I need this shit to stop before I have a fucking break down. The drama with this person went on the entire time I was pregnant and I’m now almost a month PP and there’s no end in sight. I just feel that if both of my friends would block him and leave it that way, he would have no choice but to STFU and move on.

My Mom came for a few minutes yesterday. It took her forever to get here when she got off work and then starts eating all my food. I got pissed and told her how I think it’s bullshit that no one ever asks me how I’m doing or if I need anything. I mentioned how it would be nice if any of them even offered to watch her so I could take a fucking nap. I haven’t had a break from her since she was born other than to buy them groceries and file for CS. I guess they feel because I’m home with her for now that i don’t need any kind of a break. I get this is my kid but I’ve also helped them quite a bit so it would be nice if they cared enough to help me out some.

I’m getting short on money and worried what the hell I’m going to do if I don’t get to go back to work. I really don’t want to start a new job because of my social anxiety and no place is going to let me pick my schedule like this one has. I’m just really stressed out and hope that someone decides to text me back so I can stop worrying. It’s just frustrating how much money I’ve helped my parents with since I’ve had my kid and they don’t pay me back or even offer to watch my kid unless they are going to benefit from it. I just don’t think BD understands what I’ve spent so far and it’s really upsetting.