Hobby ideas. in Since OD is shutting down....

I’ve been off work for about 3 weeks now and even with a newborn, I’m finding I get super bored after taking care of her and keeping my house clean so if anyone has any ideas on hobbies for me, I’m all ears.

She’s doing very well. She’s gained a whole pound since birth and her belly button fell off when she was 13 days old. Today is actually my due date so it’s cool she came 3 weeks early. I didn’t get much sleep last night because I just couldn’t fall asleep and she woke up 3 times instead of 2 so I’m running on nothing. I plan to try and take a little nap after I write this.

Her BD is still a fucking joke and I actually just wish everyone would block him and leave it that way. He messaged my friend today saying the cops were looking for him at his Mom’s house and claimed he doesn’t live there. I did file for CS but it would be served by a regular person, not a cop so I’m not sure if he was just saying that to see what my friend would respond with or what but I know that he’s going to run and not accept papers when they do show up looking for him.

It’s just seriously crazy that I chose to have a child with someone like this. He’s mentioned how he plans to move out of state again and I honestly hope that he does. All I know is I’m just ready for the drama to end and keep moving forward. I know that I’ll never see any CS, I just want him to take the the paternity test so that I don’t have to hear him talk about how he doesn’t think he’s her father but will still say how he has a daughter and she’ll never know him. It’s all just a crazy, sick game to this guy and that’s why I have cut him out of my life and refuse to speak to him anymore.

Everyone loves to remind me how I’m never going to get any CS from him and I get sick of repeating how I know I won’t as he doesn’t work and I don’t plan to budget any money from him. I know that he’s a piece of shit and that’s why things are like this. I look at my daughter every day wishing things were so different for her. It hurts me that he’s like this because she deserves the very best Dad a kid could have and I’m not able to provide it.

Anyways, I’m gonna be going back to work in a month and I’m definitely ready but the thought of putting her in daycare makes me sick to my stomach. My Dad has offered to watch her but I don’t want her in their house because of the smoking and all the animals. I’m just hoping when the times comes to return to work that daycare won’t affect me as much as I’m anticipating.

So, I’m gonna try and lay down for awhile before she wakes up for another feeding.