compassion sadness in Random Thoughts

An email sent to me last night at 12:30 am, after a really nice date:

“Dear one, hello, thank you for the most beautiful evening in many years. You may very well be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.

Carmen, I think I’m falling for you…but I don’t think I can do the whole Poly lifestyle. I want to kiss you all over, spend days getting to know you, touching you softly, be your guy… But I don’t think that’s possible with your life, and scheduling and all the shared love you experience. I know it will break my heart, I couldn’t deal with it. Though I wish I could…and I really tried. But leaving you tonight made me realize that this is the way it would be all the time. I can still smell your amber.

This is extremely sad for me to write this…I really think you are incredibly special, beautiful, your heart soars and you make me soar too. You smell wonderful, and are so kind. I so much wish it were different, but I know that I can’t fall in love with you in this situation, and it’s already starting to happen. Kissing you, smelling you, having you touch me with such love…it’s not something that I can take lightly.

I hope you understand. I’m sure it’s very difficult adding a new person to your circle, and I apologize for any sadness I may have caused.

You know what I want? You. I feel it in my bones.

well, shit.

Love,

-Bob with tears”

i feel heavy and sad. jamie asked if it was guilt/sad or compassion/sad. i feel it is compassion sadness. i hate that this sweet wonderful man was hurt.