Monday Morning in New Diary

I am up I’m not so bright eyed and bushy tailed but I am up. I’m grateful for another day. Yesterday afternoon turned out to be a good day. I did a lot of reading. I was really engrossed in my new book The Faith: History of Christianity by Brian Moynahan. I was reading about the early history of the church. I read about different heresies that developed over the years about the nature of Christ. Then I was reading about hermits and the development of monasteries. I found it to be very interesting

I was reading about the part of hermits. I remembered when I was younger I always wanted to live in the woods to be away from people. I fantasies about living by hunting and fishing and having a small garden. It never happened. I would not have been able to survive. I think about it once in a while now and realize I couldn’t do it. I am too addicted to comforts of internet, Wi Fi and cable tv . I guess I’ll have to content myself with staying in my apartment.

I was in a fairly good mood yesterday. I was not depressed. I had no thoughts of suicide. I felt fairly good. Still felt tired and listless. I didn’t do a anything except read play computer games. But I still felt tired I wrote it off as symptoms of depression.

Saturday I felt very depressed. It was hell What do I attribute to this miraculous recovery. I was not dwelling on shit. I did not wake up thinking about Chocolatechip. I did not wake up feeling sorry for myself. I was not dwelling on crap thinking about things that does me no good. I just woke up took care of business picked up my Nook and started to read. I got lost in my book. I think I have found the answer Just don’t give a fuck and getting lost in books. Reading is about all I am good for anyways. Think I will do just that read

I hope m y worker comes today. I just like her company. She is a talker and will talk about a mile a minute. Chocolatechip was like that as well They always cheered me up listening to them talk. Worker also does a good job in cleaning my apartment. She does a lot of extra things while she is here. I am really lucky to be with that program.

Well life is good. 1 I got a nice apartment.2 I have food to eat. 3 I have money for meds. 4 I am in fairly good health. 5 I have phone, Internet and cable tv. 6 I have a worker that comes in and cleans my apartment. 7 I have plenty of books to read. 8 I have clothes to wear. 9 I have a wonderful support system in Healthways. 10 I have an SSI and Social Security check. I have it pretty good. Life is good