Friday Morning in New Diary

So much for vows. My worker came yesterday. She did a good job in cleaning my apartment. It needed a very good clean. I asked her to take me to Tudors. I bought two Ron Biscuits and two bottles of orange juice. She also brought a book about dream interpretation. I was telling her about some of the weird dreams I’ve bee n having. We talked for a while and then she left for another client. Before she left I told her she always cheered me up

I am afraid I broke down and bought two books yesterday. This one book was called The Road Less Traveled by M Scott Peck. I read this many times. It is one of those books you can read a thousand times an get something new from it after each read. The second book was The Quartet : Orchestrating the Second American Revolution 1783-1789 by Joseph J Ellis. I need books like I need a hole in the head. However I still buy more. I always buy one or two every month.

I have been doing a lot of reading,. I finished Gwendy’s Button Box. It was a very short book about a hundred pages. I enjoyed it. I like anything Stephen King writes. I started reading a history book.. This one is The Faith : A History of Christianity by Brian Moynahan I remember checking this book out of the library years ago. I liked it so well I bought my own copy, Then I had to get rid of all my books when I had bed bugs.

I had a lot of books. I had three bookcases full of books. These were collected throughout my entire life. When I got bed bugs I had to get rid of them plus just about everything else I owned. It broke my hart to get rid of those books. They were like old friends to me. It wasn’t too long after that I started using e readers. I have a Nook and I love it. I have over two hundred books on my Nook . I read almost all of them.

I have always liked to read and I always loved books. When I drove and had a car I would drive to libraries and bookstore all over the place. I especially liked going to Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh had two huge bookstores I would visit. They had this one bookstore called Borders which had two stories of books. Then they had a few Barnes and Noble bookstores. I could spend all day in those places. I would always leave with four or five books. No matter how hard up for money I’ve been I always found money for books.

With my Nook I can browse all day on my Nook without clerks giving me dirty looks and asking are you going to buy anything g. I can download free samples of books and if I I like it I can purchase the rest. Another advantage of ebooks is they do not take up space in a very small apartment. Then there is the convenience I don’t have to leave my home I can buy a book download it and read it in seconds. The only problem I can see is they make it too easy and it is hard to say no. About all you need is a Wi-Fi connection and a credit card. Like I said no matter how hard up I am I always find money for books.

I was checking my credit card balance,. I owe $76.93 on it right now. I will have to get a cash advance of $20 for laundry. I will also use it for meds and cleaning supplies. I think I will end up owing about $120 for my next bill. Well I wont be free of credit card debt but it will be a lot easier to pay of f than the $320 I paid this month. If I don’t use it for anything else I think I will still have some money left over from my August check. That is my goal.,

Also I think I am doing better. I don’t seem to be as depressed, I am not experiencing thoughts of suicide or harming myself. I am able to concentrate and read. I am not dwelling on Chocolatechip. I still love her. I will always love her. But I reached out to her on more than one occasion. She wasn’t too eager to talk to me If that is what she wants then there is nothing I can do about it. I will just go on with my life the best way I can. Hell I can survive

Whenever I start thinking life is hopeless I always think on the positives. I always remind myself of the following : 1 I have a roof over my head 2 I have money for meds 3 I have clothes to wear 4 I have food to eat 5 I have phone, internet and cable tv., 6 I have plenty of books to read. 7 I have a worker that comes in and cleans my apartment. 8 I have a wonderful support system in Healthways. 9 I am in fairly good physical health 10 I have an SSI and Social Security Check.

Life is good.