War in Gathering of Poetry and Fiction

My soul is at war.

The sadist inside screams for malice.
But the person I’m becoming will not allow it.
The desire to help others fights for control,
As apathy tries to stengthen it’s hold.

Your face and your memory send my mind into an unstoppable cyclone.
While I try to take tally of the other people that I own.
Surely they are more deserving of my attention,
I try to make their company my intervention.

Lust claws at my stomache like a caged animal,
I fight it but how long will my resolve prevail?

Every thought turns to you.

I know I cannot help you.

My own war prevents me from seeing things clearly,
But I think of you still and my eyes become weary.

Impatience and Depression drag me down,
I fight and fight to be worthy of my crown.

My soul is at war,
I need release,
But I fear this fighting,
Can never cease.