6/26 in 2017

i haven’t written since march and i feel really bad about that. i think about coming here and writing just about every other day, but it makes me anxious. a lot has happened and yet everything is exactly the same. i promise that soon i’ll write a real entry and try to make up for the past 3 or so months that i’ve been absent.

i’ve been extremely depressed and it’s hard to WANT to be alive right now. most days it takes all of my energy to keep myself going - that means working, feeding myself, paying my bills, and interacting with people in my life. oh…and pretending to be normal. i haven’t done much else. some days are normal. i don’t want anyone to be worried (that is, if anyone is still reading these!).

i know exactly what i need to do in terms of my mental health, so i don’t need to be told to go to the doctor. i do appreciate any words of advice, encouragement, or notes anyone wants to leave and i plan on going through all my bookmarks very soon, too. i’ve missed everyone.

i think i’ll be okay. i just don’t know when.