New Day New Attitude in New Diary

Went to bed very early last night. It is 3:26am and I’ve been up for an hour. I feel a bit better after a good tv dinner and a nights sleep. I got to do something to get out of this rut I’m in. I got to snap out of it Trash needs taken out and perhaps I’ll take my Nook with me and sit outside for a while. I can start reading again. I’m reading The Dark Tower by Stephen KIng. This is the last book in the Dark Tower Series. I want to find out what happens to Roland and his Ka tet.

I haven’t been reading for a while. I left off where the gunslinger, Roland Deschain and his friends Eddie t Dean, Susanna Dean, Jake Chambers and Oy are in Thunderclap,. Thunderclap is run by the Crimson King. It is a prison of people with special powers. They are used to destroy the Beam which supports the Dark Tower. The Dark Tower supports all the worlds and to destroy that would destroy creation. Roland and company are about to wipe out the guards of the prison and free these Breakers who are destroying the last Beam that holds up the Dark Tower.

I have been enjoying these books. Usually like to read history books and books about the Constitution but I haven’t been able to concentrate any anything too heavy,. I was worried about that operation I had and the possibility of having cancer. Then came the latest breakup with Chocolatechip. I have been so upset and depressed I couldn’t concentrate on any book. I need to get back to my book.

Perhaps I will feel better if I get into reading again., Reading and listening to music have always been my drug of choice. I get lost in books and music and forget about everything. The real world and real problem seem dimmer One should always face their problems but to keep dwelling on them all the time is not good either. We need a break. I can get lost in a great book and forget about my problems for a while. When I’m finished reading I have a little bit better outlook on things

Think I need to get out of my apartment for a while. I need a change of scenery. I can’t remember the last time I have been outside. It was Thursday. Kelly, my worker, took me to Wal Mart and Tudors. I bought some groceries for the rest of the month,. Yes I was out last Thursday for shopping

So I need to get out of my apartment. Even if nobody talks to me I need to get some sun and fresh air I think that would do me some good. . So getting out of my apartment and reading is the plan.

Always remember things are not that bad. 1 I have a nice apartment. 2 I have food to eat.3 I have money for meds. 4 I have clothes to wear. 5 I have phone, internet and cable tv 6 I have lots of books to read. 7 I have a wonderful support system in Healthways. 8 I have a ssi and social security check. 9 I have a nice worker in Kelly that comes in and cleans my apartment. 10 I am in fairly good physical health Life is pretty good.

Life isn’t so bad. I don’t want to lose what I have. Therefore I need to start taking care of myself. Despite all of this I just want to say fuck it all I cant let myself go down the tubes to the point where I am suicidal. I got to go on with my life and live it the best way I can Breakup; is very bitter but I nee d to get over it and move on wioth my life.