Back pain like a MF! in Since OD is shutting down....

Alright so I don’t know what the hell happened but I got to work Thursday evening, went to the bathroom and my back started hurting like no other. I went to get off the toilet and there was a shooting pain in my lower right side and then the pain just got worse and worse the entire night. I couldn’t hardly stand or walk and kept leaning on counters and couldn’t wait to go home. I was struggling to do anything. I went to the ER yesterday because I had clear/yellowish discharge and was concerned about my back. They didn’t do anything but monitor the baby and send me home.

I text my boss yesterday and let her know I wasn’t going to make it in. My back is still super stiff/sore and wasn’t able to work tonight either. I’m definitely stressed about money because I am still hopeful to be able to work for another couple of weeks but I just don’t know if it’s going to be possible. I’m going to call my DR on Monday and see what he says but if there’s no way to get relief that I will have no choice but to start maternity leave earlier than what I want to. I’ve tried Tylenol, warm baths, stretching, laying down, and literally nothing has helped at all.

Pregnancy is a motherfucker and this is why I’m getting my tubes taken out. I honestly don’t want to experience this ever again. I’m just done physically, mentally, and emotionally. It doesn’t help that it’s summer time now and the heat is intolerable. I was at work the other night and seriously thought I was going to pass out or get heat stroke. It was so hard to concentrate and I kept fucking up the smallest things because I couldn’t focus. My job is a pretty easy one but being pregnant, hot, and in pain makes it way more difficult.

I know my OB is probably going to tell me to keep working and then I’m going to get angry. I’m really getting sick of people’s lack of compassion and empathy at this point. I know it would be better for delivery if I did but when I’m struggling to get in/out the car, am dying in pain with every step I take and struggling to lift stuff that’s not even super heavy, I have to listen to my body. You can only push yourself so long until you’re gonna be sorry for it. I want to keep working but I can’t if I’m struggling to function.

Definitely frustrated to be missing out on the weekend but I am glad to not be there because I’m fighting just to get up off the couch and go to the bathroom so obviously work would have been really painful and overall, not worth it. It’s nice to honestly just be able to relax at home and get a fucking break from that place. I wasn’t planning on it this early, but my body has different plans for me.

Eric spent the night on Thursday and became a raging prick in the morning so he walked home. I was just trying to get him up and home so he could get ready for work when he decided to be an asshole. He will help me with things when he’s around but that’s it. He doesn’t have any sensitivity whatsoever and it really pisses me off. He was asking what was wrong the other night when my back gave out and when I told him he said, “I’m sorry but there’s nothing I can do to help” and it just makes me angry. I didn’t ask for any kind of help but he could have shown a little more empathy than that. I told him I went to the ER yesterday and didn’t even ask why until I said something. Ugh, annoying as fuck.

I am also worried about who’s going to tend to my cats when I have the baby so I text my lady that’s trying to help me get back into school and said she would but hasn’t answered since so that’s a dead end. It’s just so crazy how no one is willing to help me in any type of way and I can’t be in 2 places at once. I also don’t want to come home with a newborn baby and my house smelling like cat shit. I asked a couple of my friends and they said they would. I don’t like people having keys to my house but I also need help so I’m gonna have to deal with it.

My house is coming along. I put all my movies in a big carrying case and threw away all of the cases they came in. I also got my carpet shampoo so hopefully I can do my carpets if my back ever stops hurting. I’m seriously so concerned about my back. The pain is sharp and dull at times. I seriously think my kid is going to come soon. I had her fetal echo the other day and waiting on the results. They think it’s due to my diabetes and once she’s born, she’ll probably not have an issue anymore once she’s not relying on my body.

Anyways, I must go lay down because my back is killing me. More later.