My Car Is Dead. in The grotesque metamorphosis of a Bi-Polar human into a Tri-polar monster.

I got the call from the mechanic today, he told me that he didn’t want to tell me how to spend my money, but if it was him he’d just say it was time to let the car go.

RIP Ron Burgundy…you took me all over this beautiful country and we had some truly amazing adventures together…like, the time we made it from Dallas Texas to Provo Utah in one straight shot…or the time we drove through a herd of deer at 60 miles an hour and didn’t hit a single one of them…or the time we drove up the west coast during the worst storm in my lifetime.
I spent many nights drinking alone in you, listening to music at high volumes because your speakers rocked until that tree fell in you.

Damn…

You had a ton of mechanical issues, always, like right from the very start…but I have a ton of mechanical issues too, so we kind of just got each other like that.

Here’s to 7 years of loyal friendship and service. I loved you more than a car and I’d buy you all over again in a heartbeat if I could.

Goodnight, sweet prince.