Hoops and Jumps in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

Sometimes… things go crazy. Lawyers are the kinds of people who (allegedly) are the ones that can find or MacGyver solutions when things go crazy. Not sure if we’re worthy of that distinction.

Item 1: My Chinese Boss needed to get to the Airport today as she is flying to Vegas for a Weekend-Long Bachelorette Party. White Boss is supposed to be in and out of court today. SO, yesterday, she said that she might need me to drive her to the airport.
Reaction 1: This seems like you guys are having a difficult time deciding on where certain lines and boundaries are drawn. “Can you drive me to the airport?” is the exact kind of phrase you would ask for friends and family. If I’m your employee… this seems less like a “friendly favor” and more like asking an employee to do something for you. As I am an attorney, not a chauffeur, asking me to drive you to the airport in the middle of the day seems like something that would directly conflict with my ability to produce billable hours. Thus, something you should personally pay me for.
Result: Due to other events and unfortunates; this was not an issue. However, I can say with confidence that, if Chinese Boss had asked me to pick her up at their home and drive her to the airport… I would have. Without raising a stink. Because, frankly… I am reliant upon these people for my wages. If the question is/was “Do bullshit for free or no longer have a job”… I’ll choose bullshit for free every time.

Item 2: Chinese Boss’ flight was cancelled. She can’t find her husband (he is in court) and can’t find her credit card in her purse. She called to verify that I might be able to pick her up; but was also curious if she could borrow my credit card if she absolutely had to.
Reaction 2: Internally, I’m shouting “Hell no, woman! You are not using my credit card and my money to buy a plane ticket to Las Vegas. The last time I was on a plane, I’m pretty sure, was when I went to Las Vegas 5 years ago!” But of course, I’m all… sugar and sweet and accommodating. You are my boss, and even if we were friends… I wouldn’t let most of my friends borrow my credit card to buy a plane ticket! But, because, frankly… I am reliant upon these people for my wages.... if the question was “Pay for a plane ticket and the firm will pay you back at the end of the month”… I would do it.
Result: She didn’t call me back to get my card information so… here’s hoping I’m out of the woods on that one.

Item 3: I have a Juvenile Court Client (mother) who I have total faith in. I genuinely believe she will get her kids back. I mean, the fact that Iowa took her well-fed, no-school-absences, always-goes-to-the-doctor child away from her because she smokes POT… seems drastic, extreme, and insane. Especially compared to (in less affluent counties) parents could be doing Meth in front of their kids and it takes forever to get those children removed. Fucking… resource disparity. But this woman has two other kids that the State told me “we don’t want to have hearings to remove them. We will, but can you file a temporary custodial thing so those kids stay with their biological father?”
Reaction 3: I am appointed by the state to take care of the juvenile matter. That has strict, finite, defined boundaries. I am to assist her only insofar as the case heading is JVJV. Modifying custody is in the Divorce Court docket or CDCD. I won’t get paid for this; I don’t know how to do it; and my firm doesn’t handle this shit.
Result: But, of course, I do it. Or at least, I attempt. I’ve drawn up what I believe might be acceptable but… truth is… I’ve no freaking clue if these documents would be acceptable. They might look like Children’s First Legal Book bullshit. But… I’ve got to do what I can.

In Pocahontas.... it was “Do your work as ethically as you can; because the ethics are what is lacking here.” Here it just seems to be “Do your work to the very best of your abilities; you may not be paid for it, but being a sincere, genuine, hard working person might get you where you need to be.”

I suppose that’s my life now. Do as I’m told. Figure things out. Try to survive. Repeat.

Which makes me realize… children are even more wrong than we think. A child is to (1) Do what they are told; (2) Figure things out; (3) Try to survive. But they don’t (often/always) have to pay their own bills, make their own food, take care of other humans, feel a sense of responsibility for World Level events. My current adulthood is… being a child; with less fun!