Goals and Questions in My Fucking Feelings

I had a pretty good day yesterday. I was productive and got alot done. Today I skipped church and took my son to the park. He is being so defiant lately that I don’t know what to do! I want my little angel back! I listened to the sermon online and now I’m trying to decide what to do with my Sundays since I’m refusing to do housework. Perhaps I should start crocheting again. It would be kewl to finish a project or two.

Still can’t figure out where to start with my dress that I’m sdwing. I’m missing boning and possibly a lining too, but right now I don’t wven know where to start with it! Probably make myself a new purse first; mine just broke.

I went almost a whole day without thinking of my old friend J. Now he’s back on my mind again. Riddiculous. Been praying for some answers. I have a friend who doesn’t believe in God anymore because the most devout girl she knows was killed by a drunk driver with a cross hanging from his mirror. I don’t know how to explain that one to her. Other than that little girl is exactly where she wants to be and God has a special place for her. Sure I could tell her that God discourages drunkeness, and that a huge cross doesn’t make a person godly. I could tell her that the man will pay severly for spilling innocent blood, but it doesn’t really answer her question does it? Still praying God will show me something for her. I can accept it, but I know she won’t.

Need to strengthen my relationship with my other friends who are believers but I’m so selwctive about which ones I could bear to spend alot of time with. I know I shouldn’t judge but if I can’t hold an intelligent conversation with someone how am I supposed to be their friend? I could also use more friends who are parents. That way maybe my son will have friends. He hets to play with my friend’s son at church, but we didn’t go this week.

Why am I always so tired? And sore. I can’t stop snacking either and I’m starting to put on weight.