Missing You in My Fucking Feelings

I’m feeling really disconnected right now. I’m not sure why. I’m going to a show at the Black Sheep tonight, but it isn’t your show. I know I will find myself looking around for you anyway. I hope I can still have a good time when I finally get it through my head that you aren’t going to be there. I’m just so used to you being there. It’s a special place for me. I’ll bet it’s special for you too. I don’t really know what to say. I miss you, but that’s nothing new. I miss your voice and the silly things you say. The way your facial expressions make my day is so rare. It feels like it has been so long since I’ve seen you even though it hasn’t.

I miss the way you used to always be there. It always irritated me. I spent alot of time trying to avoid you, but after all this time, I’d give alot to have that back. I miss the attention. I miss being your center of focus. I wish I had realised at the time how much your time meant. It wasn’t until you were almost gone for good that I realised how much I’d miss you. Now I spend everyday missing you, hoping that one day it won’t be like that anymore. One day, I’ll find a way to make it up to you and you’ll let me back into your life. Old friend, I miss you so much. The way you used to smile when you saw me… It seems like I can’t leave the past in the last. I just want it all back. I’m really sad now. Make it stop.

Last updated May 19, 2017