Thoughts..... in Adventures of New baby and family

I’ve watched my little babycakes.. He’s very social and does want to be a part of everything. He does have a few little things that make you go hmm but for the most part he’s just fine in the category socially I think. Sigh… we will see. My oldest was very social and he has Asperger’s. This one is very different . He’s a calm little soul. He’s content and doesn’t need much to amuse him. He’s happy to sit in your lap for the most part. He has his times he’s restless as most kids do but seems quite happy to be snuggled. He definitely seeks attention and lots of hugs and snuggles. Its his talking and all that I’m concerned but the more I read he’s at a great disadvantage not walking right now. These feet of his are a struggle but the ortho doctor and PT are not putting up alarms so I’m holding my breath about it and taking it as it comes. He’s small anyway so I really could say he’s 10-11 months and no one would doubt it. I’ve seen 15 month old and they tower over him.

Sometimes I get down as I brought in 2 “broken” kids into this world. I know that’s awful to say but with the health care bill they passed it only make me more frustrated and angry. My asperger’s son and the clubbed feet kid.... i have a cartoon on my fb page that says: “born with a pre-existing condition, were you?” “well don’t expect us , God fearing citizens to pay for your bad choices kid” As the “man” labeled House GOP looks at a newborn.....

As if having a baby with a “defect” isn’t bad enough......
I look at the term: God fearing..... I look at my “defective” son and say… you want to see God at his finest?? This little guy is a true miracle. He’s not defective, he fought like hell to be here. Statistically this little guy should NOT be here. Statistic wise he should also have been a preemie. He had a less than 1% chance to make to to term. He did. Before this little guy ever took a breath he has a story to tell.
Yes I worry myself sick about him...... he had so many things he’s had to face. I just need to calm myself and realize no matter he will do what he needs to do. He has a purpose. He’s meant to be here and there’s no explanation for that.

Obviously my thoughts of 2 broken children are from some depression or funk I’m dealing with. I’m not sure what to do about it. I really don’t want to go on antidepressants but when you have bad thoughts running through your head and feel inadequate as a person… maybe there’s some thing I should really look into.