The Wedding That Wasn't in Diary

I have a lot to write about, I probably won’t fit it all into one entry.

Friday 28th April was supposed to mine and Jay’s wedding. My parents and sister came down the night before and stayed the night in my house. We all should have been spending the night at the hotel, so we could get ready for the wedding in the morning.

Instead, the four of us put on some nice clothes and went to pick up Jay’s mom, Annette. She had gone all out and bought a new dress, shoes and shawl and was dressed as if she was actually going to our wedding. She never wears a dress or heels so she had made a special effor.t I nearly cried when I saw her. I asked what Jay would have thought if he’d seen her and she said he would be proud of her :’o(

So we went to the hotel and had a nice two course lunch. Dad was taking photos and orderd me to smile. I refused, saying it wasn’t a happy occasion. I wanted to make a toast to Jay and had planned some things to say. But as soon as I opened my mouth, I just started crying and couldn’t say any of it. And then everyone else started crying as well. I felt like I’d spoiled lunch for everyone.

After lunch, I showed everyone around the hotel. I showed them the garden and where I wanted photos to be taken. I showed them the room where the wedding was meant to be. They had re-hired it out for a 50th wedding anniversary party. They were all giving us funny looks as we all stood in the doorway and I pointed out where the ceremony would have taken place and where the dancefloor would have been.

At one point, me and Annette were sitting in reception while mam, dad and Sonja took Tilly the dog for a quick walk. Who should walk in but Jay’s dad Jim and his wife Jan. I thought Annette was going to explode and she turned the air blue with her expletives. The both looked at us and then turned their backs and walked off. Confirmation that they have well and truly cut all ties with me. As far as they’re concerned, they think I’ve diddled them out of £50k. The only reason they were there was because they had already booked a hotel room for the night of the wedding and didn’t want to lose out on their £89. If they were there for Jay, like we were, they would have at least offered their condolences on what was a very difficult day for me.

After that, we headed up into the spa. The lady who had organised it for us stopped us and said what a pleasure it was to have us and how sorry she was about what had happened. She almost made me cry again.

At 3pm, which is when the wedding was supposed to be, we all went into the “relaxation room” which was a quiet room with subdued lighting and big comfortable chairs to lounge in. None of us spoke for about 15 - 20 minutes and I could see my mam quietly crying in her chair. And so the time for the wedding passed, and I spent the rest of the day imagining that we should be signing the register, should be drinking Pimms and chatting with our guests, having our photos taken, doing speeches, cutting the cake, first dance, buffet and finally the party at the end of it all. The day passed when I should have been changing my name to Mrs. Davies-Shuck, but I remain Miss Moore.

At 3:30, we all headed off for our various treatments. Four of us had a back massage, dad didn’t want his even though it had been paid for, so mam had a pedicure in his place. After my massage, the same lady gave me a manicure. She was trying to make small talk and asked who I was there with and if we were there for a special occasion. She didn’t really know what to say when I explained.

I then used my remaining credit to buy some facial products from the spa shop. Expensive things that I wouldn’t normally be able to afford. £27 face mask. £30 exfoliator. £50 make up kit. £50 cleanser and toner. I’ve been having fun with them all week and I think my skin definitely looks fresher and brighter. I normally just clean my face with water on a cotton wool pad and then cheap moisturiser!

When we had finished, we dropped Annette home, then rushed to the vet before it closed to pick up the medicine for my budgie. When we got home, the budgie was already dead. So after one of the hardest days of my life, I then I had to go home and bury my budgie. Dad helped me with that.

The four of us then piled into dad’s car and he drove us all up to Cumbria where we spent my wedding night in a gorgeous little pub / B&B, ready for me and Sonja to go and jump out of a light aircraft from 14,000ft the next day. But that’s for another entry.