Shepard in Normal entries

Not very shocked, but all those entries I’ve been writing in my head? — they’re not here. It’s ok, most were extended play on words or too much the consistency of playdough or too good for the likes of you and I. I think students might be graduating today; I saw some in gowns and there’s a lot of u-hauls on curbs.

My diet is weird. Weight loss is one of the ways to tell if a diet is working, though I don’t have a desperate desire to lose weight. I’ve been pretty damn active this whole year, and, because I’ve been tracking for the fit bit, I rarely come within thirty percent of consuming more calories than I expend, the average is closer to half. I was curious as to why I wasn’t losing weight and other shit that might or might not be weight related. I’ve lost seven pounds in a week. The weirdest meal I had was taking the insides of a Rueben out of the bread and eating from a bowl.

So I was on the way to do something similar with tacos and this interview with Springsteen came on the radio (I have sirrius which slightly, but significantly has changed my “fuck the radio” in the car rule). The interviewer, Tom Hanks (no, you shut up, I’m not condoning Tom Hanks, just telling the facts. I didn’t have a poor opinion of Tom Hanks until he started doing those Dan Brown Movies and whatever the fuck kind of comb over dead racoon thing he has on his head). Hanks was talking about Born in the USA and it got around to Bruce talking about friends who didn’t come back from Vietnam and then he was like “… I was a straight up draft dodger, the whole Alices restaurant thing, ‘Sorry sir could you repeat that? I’m tripping on Acid’” I would like to hear Donald Trump say that. Of all the owning up to contradictions and bullshit, what I’d like to hear most is an honest answer for why he dodged the draft.

It’s not that I think draft dodging is unamerican or a crime against man and god, it’s not even the hypocracy of seeking the position of commander and chief of the US armed forces with zero field experience. It’s the hypocrisy of sending young americans off to die when you (him) were unwilling to do so yourself. I’d like to think if he could honestly admit the fear some compassion and empathy might stick to him as it rolled out of his mouth. The two republican presidents this millennia, both of whom have been very aggressive with the armed forces, both found ways out of the service. Bush had a smart father, so he didn’t straight up dodge, but he didn’t actively serve either.

You want to know what the diet is don’t ya? No carbs no sugar. It’s damn near impossible unless you prepare everything yourself, I don’t. So I’m not even really doing the diet, but I’m doing as close as I can get to it. The idea is to trick your body into ketosis so it actually burns into fat reserves istead of sugar energy on hand or burning muscle mass. Shit I was almost even hungry the other day. Um, that’s why I haven’t been eating as much as I burn, not only don’t I crave food, I am quick to feel full. It just seemed weird that I wasn’t losing weight, though, honestly, I don’t know what my percentage of body fat is; I don’t want to be skinnier, I want to be healthier.

What’s different about this over other ketosis diets I’ve seen is that this one encourages you to eat fat. Um, buttered toast without the carbs is just butter. It’s a significant difference. If I don’t care why am I writing about it? I know a lot of people struggle with diets. Consider this a testimonial. Keep in mind I exercise a lot, moderate exercise but a lot of it. I think any diet where you lose weight without exercise probably isn’t healthy, you know, like the crystal meth diet; no carbs, protein, vegetables, fruit, just meth and plenty of fluids. You can, and probably will, eat a lot of candy and still lose weight playing video games. Like other similar diets one of the side effects is death, but, come on, for all the times you’ve heard “I’m just big boned” have you ever seen a fat skeleton? Death is slimming. Trump could add that into his draft dodging story.