Personality in 2017
- May 2, 2017, 5:03 p.m.
- |
- Public
Last night I sat down to take a ridiculous online test. The kind where you answer two-dozen questions and get told “Which American Girl Doll Fits Your Personality”. Because, what could be more important at midnight, right?
A silly little test. The Facebook bait-click ones.
I dont remember which American Girl it picked for me, but I can tell you that never in my life have I been so unsure about my personality. I mean, what even IS that? How do I not know who I am?
Last night, as Im trying to fall asleep, Im literally crawling out of my skin. Being me right now is extremely uncomfortable. The sudden influx of flashbacks to the moments after her delivery. Suddenly now, 3 months after her death, Im occasionally getting phantom kicks. I cried to my husband this morning as he was getting ready for work. ‘I feel like everything has been taken from me.’ Somewhere in my being I know I am thankful for my husband. And my living children. I love the three of them very very dearly. I know and feel that love.
Im drowning these days. Broken. And sometimes I worry if it all will ever be enough.
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